However, as he wrapped his arms around Kid in a fierce hug, what came out of his mouth was a heartfelt whimper. "Steal me."

That certainly was not what he had intended to say. That did not make it any less true.

Kid let out a muted chuckle of amusement, arms wrapping around him, completing the embrace. "You of all people should know that I don't steal people."

"I was rather hoping you would make an exception this time." He muttered, slouching to rest his head on the thief's shoulder. The round hang glider claps on the shoulders bit into his face, but he didn't protest. The contrast of metal and silk was distracting but he could get a better scent here, nose pressed against Kid's neck, which was slightly sweaty and cold from the flight in the winter snow. This was the one time of year that he could -understand- the white suit, except for the bright swatches of blue and red from the shirt and tie.

Gloved fingers rubbed against his back, massaging the tense muscles there and Hakuba slowly felt himself relax. When they'd started this, he had figured it would be mostly an intellectual relationship, brains, the physical attraction simply being bait that he used to hook the thief closer. He hadn't expected the balance of emotions between them.

He hadn't sincerely anticipated anything more than a detached academic friendship.

He'd gotten much much more. Damned if he was going to argue it.

"You have guests." Kid whispered. The thief's body was still relaxed against his, but a faint tenseness told him that despite the fact that while some of the thief's guard was down, he was still ready to disappear at the slightest hint of danger.

"Mum." He growled. He loved his mother dearly, really he did, but occasionally he remembered part of the reason why he'd chosen to move back to his native Japan.

Mum was a flake. Or at least acted very much like one the majority of the time. A very loud high-pitched one at that. If she'd been a bird, she would have been one of those long throated songbirds that never effing shut up.

Hakuba was much more fond of the birds of prey, such as Watson and Kid. Or even one of Kid's doves. They at least made mellow soothing sounds. For a food source, anyway.

"That bad?" Kid questioned. Of course, Kuroba only had to deal with his own mother, his father being long dead. There was a momentary pang of guilt complaining about his parents when the other was missing one.

"Just enough to make this a very long two weeks until the end of the New Year." He raised his head hopefully. "Tell me you have some heists planned."

"Sorry." This brought a second chuckle, dark eyes chuckling merrily at him. "Try to lay off around the New Years."

"Yes, yes, a personal gift to the Task Force." He lowered his head again, determined to soak up the contact while he could. That was another thing that had caught him by surprise. Since he'd had the chance and permission to touch, sometimes he found himself craving the tactile contact. Nothing overt, just... a gentle physical connection. Kid didn't seem to argue; in fact half the time it was Kid draping himself over Hakuba. "Blast."

The top of his head was patted before fingers resumed their exploration of his back. Hakuba sighed. Kid made an amused sound. "I'm sure your friends will come to your rescue."

Another thing to be grateful for, his friendship with Kuroba and Aoko. As well as the unspoken acceptance that Kid was Kuroba and they both knew it. "Just not Koizumi." He protested faintly.

"Why not?"

"I am afraid they will multiply." He mumbled.

There was a slight pause as Kid put what he'd heard of Hakuba's mother together with his knowledge of Koizumi, and then a shudder wracked the lithe body. "Got it."

"Thank you." He said gratefully into Kid's shoulder, making the thief chuckle again for the n-th time in so many minutes.

It was kind of a statement of how strange his life was when one of the few stable constants in it was a phantom thief that pulled doves out of mid air.

• • •

The doorbell ringing nearly caused Hakuba to jump out of his skin. He felt a bit like he was walking on eggshells while juggling fine bone china dishes. Mum was running around putting up decorations and asking oh-so-not pointed questions as to how he was doing in school, catching that thief and how his friends were doing. If he had made friends. Who these friends were. What were they like. How did he meet them. The list went on and on, to the point that he was considering mentioning to Father that she might do very well in the interrogation rooms.

"I got it!" He called. Too late, he could hear a cheerful squeak from the direction of the door. Oh, bugger. House scuffs disappearing behind him, he flew downstairs in his socks. House scuffs were great, kept his feet warm and the house clean, but damned if he could round corners fast enough in them.

Mum was standing in the doorway, a rather confused looking Kuroba and Aoko standing there, cheeks and noses pink from the cold. "Um... Hi." Aoko looked rather dazed. Kuroba looked his usual smug self, but with one eyebrow raised in a speculative look that spoke of fleeing rather soon.

"Aoko-kun! Kuroba-kun!" He slid to a stop, barely avoiding crashing into his Mother. "Glad to see you."

"Hakuba-kun!!" Aoko gave him one of her patented sweetness-and-light-boy-am-I-glad-to-see-you-get-me-away-from-this-insane-person grins. All right, so maybe not the last part, but definitely sweetness and light.

"Yo!" Kuroba waved a mittened hand. "You -did- volunteer to help us get groceries for Aoko's Christmas Party, right?"

He had done no such thing. "Right. So sorry for the delay. Just let me just get my coat." Handel's Hallelujah Chorus broke out in the back of his head as he dove for his Inverness coat. It was thick; it was warm, just what the holiday season called for. Most importantly: it was the first coat he could grab when he opened the front cupboard door. With the ease and speed of long habit, he pulled it on and was shoving his feet into his shoes before anyone could prevent his escape.

"Bye, Mum." He said quickly, kissing her on the cheek. "We'll be gone for a few hours. See you later! Bye, Father!"

He slipped out the door and joined his friends with a great feeling of liberation, wrapping his muffler around his neck. The other two gave him slightly sympathetic looks as he did so.

"Ooh!" Mum squealed, clapping her hands. "It's the Gryffindor Trio!"

The three of them paused, a few steps away from freedom. The other two had read the Harry Potter books in Japanese and Kuroba was slowly working his way through Hakuba's set from England. The resulting conversations had been interesting. ("What's a Jumper?" "It's another name for sweater, not a type of deranged rabbit.") Mum continued on, oblivious to their reactions to being referred to as characters from children's literature. "See, there's Harry-" She pointed at Kuroba "-Hermione-" Aoko blinked "-and Ron!" This was said to Hakuba.

Kuroba looked at Hakuba. Aoko looked at Hakuba. Hakuba looked away, feeling his face turn slightly pink.

"Ron had red hair, Mum." He reminded her gently.

"... Oh."

"Nice to meet you!" Kuroba said brightly. "See you later!" With a cheerful wave, the magician somehow managed to quickly herd Hakuba and Aoko away from house and down the street without actually looking like he was doing so.

"Bless you." Hakuba muttered gratefully. "I needed to get out of the house. I could kiss you both."

Aoko paused, looking one direction then the other before grabbing Kuroba's arm, pulling the magician against Hakuba's side as Aoko wrapped herself around his other side. Kuroba sibling sandwich, with him in the middle. Almost against his will he could feel himself chuckling, his spirits rising. Aoko giggled, releasing them.

"If anyone questions it, we can say it's a British thing." She informed them primly as they stepped back a little, but not so far that they couldn't brush against each other on occasion. There was a bit of pink on her cheeks, but over all she looked pleased. Kuroba had a faint smile on his face, his expression clearly stating that he was perfectly content to let Aoko lead in this venture.

Hakuba smiled in return, swallowing the words that hugging close friends was perfectly acceptable where he'd grown up. Sometimes the cultural differences were hard to keep in mind.

"So..." Aoko said cheerfully, the pink fading from her cheeks. "That's your 'Kaasan."

"She is not usually this bad." He assured her with a sigh. "It is just when you get Father and Mum together. Father starts laughing a lot more than usual and Mum starts twittering a lot and... It's like their IQ drops into their hormones."

The half-siblings exchanged looks. "You mean..."

"She's probably being bent over a desk and fucked like an anime girl as we speak? Yes."

"Hakuba no ecchi!" Aoko sharply smacked the back side of his head for the comment, just like she would Kuroba. Her nose wrinkled as she glared at him.

Oh dear. "I do apologise." Hakuba felt his face heat up. "I had not meant to say that out loud-"

He was cut off by the sound of Kuroba doubled over, clutching his ribs as he laughed his head off.

Aoko sighed, rolling her eyes. "Boys are such perverts." She muttered darkly.

"It's a wonder you put with us." He agreed sympathetically. Kuroba just laughed harder.

• • •

Hakuba had never been shopping with the Irish Twins before.

It was an... enlightening experience. Even if he was merely along as the designated pack horse.

"Kaito, put down the bananas."

"Stop molesting the oranges!"

"... and the melons."

"Yes, we know you can deep throat the pocky. That doesn't mean you have to impress everyone else with it."

"Yes, Kaito, there will be pickles. No, leave the eggs alone."

"Step AWAY from the sugar."

"Gimme the chocolate!!!"

"No flour bombs!"

And finally:

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GET IT AWAY!! GET IT AWAY!! BAD FISHIE!!"

All in all, Hakuba found himself wishing that they were getting some popcorn too, just so that he had something to munch on during the impromptu floor show.

• • •

"Look!" Aoko pointed up above them as she and Kuroba walked him home, a grin on her face. They didn't need to, but Kuroba's 'Kaasan was baking and had banned him from the house until later that evening and Nakamori-keibu had come home early, chasing them from the house. None of them were quite yet willing to give up the companionable feeling, so they had wandered to his place. "Mistletoe."

"Blast." Hakuba muttered darkly, glaring at the sprig of mistletoe that was tied to the middle of the overhang. "I thought I had gotten rid of all of it."

"Mum?" Kuroba questioned.

"Mum." He sighed. It had slipped his mind that Mum was over.

Aoko giggled, shifting nervously. "Well, it is bad luck to not do otherwise..."

Kuroba caught Hakuba's eye, a playful sparkle silently inviting him to join in the fun. Hakuba smirked back, agreeing to the mischief.

Aoko suddenly found herself kissed, Hakuba kissing the back of her hand, bowing over it like he would for a lady, and Kuroba kissing her forehead in a very brotherly fashion.

She turned red in embarrassment as they laughed. "Cute." She grumbled. "Now your turn."

"Eh?" Kuroba gave them a blank look. Hakuba felt his face heating up.

"The tradition is that you kiss someone of the opposite gender." He pointed out. And then steal a berry off the sprig of mistletoe, but he doubted that they could reach the plant from here.

"So?" Aoko gave him a blank look in return. "Kaito cross-dresses, isn't that close enough?"

"Hey!"

She crossed her arms giving them both a stubborn look. Kaito glared back, equally as stubborn. Hakuba sighed and shook his head, wondering if the stubbornness was a trait they had both gotten from their mother, or if it was something that their fathers had in common.

Eh, what the hell. He and Kid kissed frequently, even if this was Kuroba instead of the thief, it wasn't as if he were afraid of the other teen being opposed to the idea. And if it made Aoko happy, more the better.

He leaned forward to kiss Kuroba's cheek, only Kuroba startled at the movement, turning his head to the side. They ended up with a sort of half-kiss, half on the mouth, half on the shaven skin next to the smooth lips. Both he and Kuroba jumped back as they realised what happened. Hakuba felt his face turned red as Aoko giggled.

"Merry Christmas." She bounced forward, quickly kissing both of them on the cheek and succeeding in distracting them.

"Merry Christmas." He replied automatically. "Shall we go in?" Manners kicked and he opened the door, motioning them inside.

"Thanks, but we'd better get going." Aoko shook her head and skipped off the front porch, still giggling softly to herself. Hakuba wondered if Koizumi had put her up to it, or if it was her own prankish streak.

"Yeah." Kuroba followed, resolutely not meeting Hakuba's eyes. Hakuba reached out slightly, brushing his fingers against Kuroba's coat sleeve, stalling the magician for a moment.

"It is no big deal." Hakuba whispered. "They kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting in France."

The corners of Kuroba's mouth twitched, dark pupils watching him from knowledgeable hooded eyes. "I was under the impression that kissing in France involved tongue." He whispered back, equally as soft before he stepped off the porch and joining his sibling.

Hakuba choked, feeling his entire face, ears and back of the neck heat up.

• • •

The next morning, the doorbell rang an an obscene hour of the morning, the twins not letting him escape his promise of helping them decorate the Nakamori house. Privately, he thought it was the brunette's way of keeping an eye on him, getting him out of the house as the Kid had promised. Either way, he was just pleased to get out of the house and in the company of his friends.

However, it was slightly earlier than he anticipated their arrival and Hakuba failed to reach the door a mere moment before Mum did. It was a grave error he regretted instantaneously as Mum, instead of politely greeting them, somehow managed to imply that all three of them were actively engaging in some sort of lewd ménage à trois.

Kuroba's mouth dropped open at this, as did Aoko's. Hakuba was pretty sure his jaw was on the floor, but in horror instead of shock, leaving the three of them speechless for a matter of uncomfortable moments. Finally Kuroba, bless his performer's heart, turned his head to face Hakuba. "I like soup." He deadpanned.

It was stupid, it was inane and it was probably the most sane thing that Hakuba could think of hearing at the moment. If there hadn't been so many people around he would have leaned over and kissed Kuroba on the mouth for such a blessed rescue. "I like soup too." He agreed. "What kind of soup do you like?"

"Split pea is good." Aoko offered, grabbing the thread of conversation like a lifeline. "Ever tried pumpkin soup?"

"Only at the local KFC."

"It's good. Why don't we go get some?"

"That sounds excellent."

Hakuba was in his coat and dragging the siblings, or the siblings dragging him, it was hard to tell, out the door before Mum could somehow managed to make the situation even more awkward than it was. They reached the street and half-ran in the melted snow until they were out of sight of the house.

Kuroba let out a soft wheezing sound that took Hakuba a moment to register as a muffled laugh as the brunette wrapped a friendly arm around Hakuba's neck. "'Bent over a desk and fucked like an anime girl', eh?" Kuroba echoed, his voice full of mirth.

"Something like that, yes." He agreed, grinning back as Aoko leaned against both of them, covering her mouth as she giggled. Relief bubbled up inside of him as he relaxed, the fear that they would be too disturbed by his family vanishing.

"So." Aoko smiled at them. "Soup?"

Kaito chucked, rubbing the back of his head. "It was the first thing I could think of to say." He admitted, looking embarrassed.

"No, it's a good idea." Hakuba admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against Kuroba. He was slightly chilled where Kuroba was not pressed against him. "Shall we?"

"Get soup?" Aoko questioned.

"Why not?" Kaito grinned, tugging on Hakuba, his arm still around Hakuba's neck. "C'mon! I'm hungry!"

"You're always hungry." Aoko grumbled, following them. She said it with a smile, so Hakuba didn't feel too bad. "All right. We'll get soup, then we'll decorate my house for the party. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Why did they change the name from 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' to 'KFC' now anyway?" Aoko mused.

Kaito snickered. "Cause it's not real chickens."

Hakuba flinched. He'd heard those rumours too. "Good thing we're only going there for the soup then."

"Soup good."

• • •

"I saw Daddy kissin' Santa Claus..." Aoko warbled as she puttered around the room, hanging decorations. "Underneath the mistletoe last night..."

Hakuba and Kuroba exchanged looks. Aoko was a sweet girl, but English was definitely not her best language. Hakuba cleared his throat. "Aoko-kun..." He said gently. "I believe the song goes 'I saw -Mommy- kissing Santa Claus..."

"Huh?" She looked at them in confusion for a moment before grinning and laughing. "Oh! No, nope. That's impossible. Mom's dead, there's no way she could kiss Santa Claus!" With that, she turned and continued hanging the decorations, still singing the song her way.

The boys glanced at each other, then quickly looked away, busying themselves with their appointed tasks, trying very hard not to picture Nakamori-keibu kissing Santa Claus.

At least until the next song started up, Aoko still cheerfully singing along. "I'm gettin' nothing for Christmas, cause I ain't been nothing but bad~!!!"

"Oh, look." Hakuba smirked from his position stabilising the ladder Kuroba was currently perched on to hang garlands. He still did not quite understand the muttered comments about Kuroba's back still aching from being a foot stool last year, but what ever worked. And it wasn't like Kuroba needed help balancing on something so simple as a ladder, but appearances must be kept. "It is Kuroba's song."

He got a glare from Kuroba in return. Aoko didn't get it. Hakuba wasn't going to explain. He smiled innocently and changed the topic of conversation before the magician could 'accidentally' drop something on him.

"Speaking of songs and the holiday season..." Hakuba commented, keeping a weather eye for attacks from above. "I was wondering what plans the two of you might have for Boxing Day."

"Boc-shing Dae?" Aoko echoed, having a slight problem with the hard consonant. "What's that?"

"Nothing that involves hitting, I hope." Kaito muttered.

"It is a British Holiday, celebrated throughout the Commonwealth, that takes place the day after Christmas Day. It derives its name from a Victorian custom of giving the church and less fortunate boxes of things they might use." And occasionally as a role reversal day, the masters serving the servants for the day. "Although mostly it is now used as a day to unwind from the Christmas festivities and spend time with friends."

"Sounds like fun." Aoko commented. "Any time in particular?"

"I'll have to ask Mum later, but probably around nine." Hakuba grinned. "We'll feed you breakfast, there's generally lots of treats left over. And board games."

"Great." Kaito leered playfully at him. "I'll kick your butt!"

"Kaito!" Aoko scolded.

Hakuba's grin widened, leering back. "You can -try-." He corrected.

"Oh, you're on." Kuroba nodded. Out of the corner of his eye, Hakuba saw Aoko make a pleased gesture, humming cheerfully as she resumed decorating the room.

• • •

Hakuba had never seen Kuroba blind-sided before.

Aoko's party had been a smashing success, all their classmates and then some showing up. Hakuba's minor contribution had been some Sugar Mice that Baaya had sculpted out of marzipan, Hakuba helping her paint the noses pink since his sculpted Sugar Mice usually ended up looking like Sugar Pigs with a pole sticking out of their rear.

Kuroba had made some of the mice come to life and scurry around the room, the magician wandering around the party performing random Christmas themed tricks for people, his expression open and gleeful.

Now his eyes were wide, face blank, jaw slack in shock. It was an expression he would have loved to have seen, and kissed off of the magician's face, in any circumstances other than these.

Of course, he wasn't much better at the moment. But then he had not been expecting Mum asking Kuroba what his intentions were towards her son in lilting Japanese either.

He had a moment of terrified panic, irrational fear over what exactly Kuroba would say. Then a moment of terrified irrational panic that Kuroba wouldn't answer the question. Fortunately his rational brain bought a clue and took over at that point. He grabbed the still slack jawed magician by the arm and quite literally pushed Kuroba out the door. "Yes, well, thank you for walking home with me. I'll see you the day after tomorrow. G'night."

"Bye." Kuroba said. The magician-thief was no fool and quickly took the opportunity to leave the premises post haste. Hakuba shut the door behind the fleeing boy and pressed his back to it, turning to face his mother.

"Mum..."

"Oh, dear." She fluttered uncomfortably. "I don't think that came out quite right."

"... Agreed." He ground out. "I realise this is going to sound boorishly stereotypical teenager of me and I do hope you do not take this the wrong way, but please PLEASE do not talk to my friends. It is embarrassing."

"I'm sorry dear." She slid a hand down the side of his face, a motherly caress. "It's just that I worry about you. I merely wanted to be sure that your friends were friends with you for the right reasons, not because of what connections they could get out of it."

That had happened before, it was something that he had learned from. With Father being high up politically and Mum's side coming from money, it would appear he'd be an easy target for social climbers. He'd learned to deal with it by simply not having many close friends. Acquaintances, fine. Friends, far and few between.

At least until he'd started courting a thief...

He smiled, patting her arm reassuringly. "Do not worry, Mum. It's probably more dangerous for Kuroba and Aoko-kun to be my friends than it is for me to be theirs."

"If you say so dear." She put her hand over his and squeezed it gently, smiling at him. The smile faltered, becoming sweetly mischievous, a warning sign that sent up red flags in his brain. "So tell me, Sa-chan... Just what are -your- intentions towards that nice Kuroba boy?"

"Something to do that involves Orange Marmalade." He deadpanned, then leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'm going to go change for Midnight Mass."

The giggling followed him all the way up the stairs and to his bedroom.

• • •

It was early morning when he arrived home from Midnight Mass, tugging off his tie and grateful that his religious duties were over for another year. There was a present laying in the middle of his bed when Hakuba walked into his bedroom. He raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't think overly much about the white box with the red bow. After all, it was the holiday season and finding gifts tucked away in strange places as a pleasant surprise was part of the fun.

He climbed onto the bed, picking up the gift and examining it with vague interest. There was a note attached, but other than that, nothing remarkable. With a bit of a smile, he pulled the tag off to read who it might be from before placing it under the tree downstairs.

The package suddenly exploded in his hands, the white surface growing to cover his vision. With a yelp, he threw himself backwards, arse over teakettle and landed on the ground with a solid thud. The package continued to grow, spreading itself over his bed as he watched in remote horror.

His parents, no stranger to strange occurrences, burst into the room, ready for trouble as the white mass solidified itself into a solid form.

Feeling the epitome of embarrassment, he glanced between his folks and the inflated Kaitou Kid doll, probably the same kind used for the thief's many escapes, lying on his bed. He finally glanced down at the tag in his hand with a sense of impending horror.

'For My Favourite Tantei-san:
One Kaitou Kid for You to Catch and Keep.
Merry Christmas.

-Kaitou Kid'

Of course, Kid just -had- to put his two cents in, didn't he?

"I don't suppose I could avoid telling the Task Force about this, could I?" He asked plaintively as Mum started to giggle.

• • • Epilogue • • •

"Care for a scone?" Hakuba offered Kuroba and Aoko when they arrived on Boxing Day. It was pronounced 'sc-awn', not 'sc-oown', like they did in America. If nothing else, he'd teach them how to say it properly. "They're very good with marmalade."

Kuroba eyed the pastry warily. He was probably expecting retribution for the blow-up doll thing. "This isn't like that kippers thing, is it?"

Hakuba sighed. The ichthiphobe was never going to let him live that down, was he? You try to introduce someone to a proper breakfast and you end up having to scrape your house-guest off the ceiling in-between illegible whimpers, screams and rants that the food is looking at them...

+++ Fin +++

Yes, they do sell Pumpkin Soup at the KFC in Japan. We've also found Subway Sandwich place in the Kyoto Subway Station.

'She's probably being bent over a desk and fucked like an anime girl'
-personal challenge to myself to include in a fic. Comment was said by Linda in a conversation at Anime Night.

Fic started: Sometime in 2004
Finished: 5 Jan 2007

back?