• • •

Shades of Grey: Dildo
by Icka! M. Chif

• • •

The first thing Hakuba noticed as he walked into the upstairs library was a penis sitting on a table in the middle of the room.

That caused him to pause for a moment, momentarily wondering if his contact prescription had changed and he wasn't looking at, say, a carving of a rabbit. A second look informed that no, there really was a good-sized translucent reddish stone phallus in the middle of the room where there hadn't been one before.

At least he was quite sure there hadn't been one there before, -he'd- certainly never put one there, but that wasn't saying anything about the other people who existed in the house.

He cleared his throat. "I take it this is the reason the Task Force would not allow me to work on the case tonight." He mused. At least he hoped so.

"Was wondering why you weren't there." Kid materialised out of the shadows, his arms crossed as he looked at the phallic object with a bemused expression.

Hakuba nodded. The Task Force had been slightly more protective about him since the incident with the porn movie. Evidently they thought this a bit too blatant for him. Although it did explain the sudden rise in the level of crude humour around the station.

"Why is there a phallus on the table?" He inquired. Said object seemed to realise it was being talked about, the light catching it and making it glow molten reddish gold.

"It's a carnelian, actually." Kid said casually. "The word coming from the Latin word 'Carnis', meaning 'Flesh'. Also known to dispel apathy and increase fertility."

"It is a penis."

"It's a historic artefact known to have mystical properties."

"It is a dildo."

"It's tonight's heist."

Hakuba gave his guest a mild glare. "I am NOT returning that to Nakamori-keibu."

"Dammit." Kid deflated slightly. "There goes -that- idea."

-fin-

back?