Question: "...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Answer: "The victim lived."
-Actual Court Transcript.

Who Dunnit -or- One Case Too Many
Parody By Icka! M. Chif

A scream echoed through the building, catching the attention of the occupants. The attention of two occupants in particular, who took off running unerringly in the direction the scream had heralded from, like bats using sonar to swoop in on their prey.

A young woman was standing over the prone body of a teenager boy, approximately the same age of the larger two runners. The fallen boy was covered with red sticky fluid. The smaller of the pair leaned down over him. "He's dead."

"Dead?" The girl blinked. "How do you know?"

"It's what happens in these instances." The larger of the pair assured her in a heavy kansai accent. "Someone screams, there's a body laying somewhere, they're dead. Same thing every time. It's our job ta figure out who dunnit. Hattori Heiji, by the way. This here is Ku-"

A sharp kick to the shins cut off the kansai detective. "Edogawa Conan, detective." The smaller introduced himself.

"Wow." The girl sparkled at him. "I'm Nakamori Aoko. This is... was my best friend, Kuroba Kaito."

"Pleasure." Conan said, distracted.

From the ground, Kaito groaned.

"Are you sure he's dead?" Aoko questioned, a perplexed expression on her face.

"Oh, yes. Quite dead." Heiji pointed to the red fluid that covered Kaito's head and torso. "You can see the blood all over him."

"I'm not dead." Kaito muttered, reaching up to rub his sore head.

"There must be some sort of trick behind it." Conan muttered. "There's always a trick."

"I think we can rule out drownin'." Heiji mused. "No water. That leaves us with guns, despite the fact that they're illegal in Japan, assorted projectiles, poisons and various pointy objects."

"There's a pie tin over here." Aoko piped up helpfully. "I think it might be what hit Kaito."

"The pie tin killed him?"

"I'm not dead!" Kaito snapped. The others ignored him in favour of examining the pie tin.

"It doesn't appear to be dented or otherwise damaged." Heiji frowned "No sharp edges either."

"So maybe it was something in the pie tin." Conan mused.

Heiji dipped his finger in the residue left in the metal cooking accessory and carefully sniffed it. "Cherry."

"Not meringue?"

"Mercifully not a murderous meringue." Heiji nodded firmly. "Undoubtedly cherry."

Behind them, Kaito got to his feet, attempting to wipe his shirt and face free of pie goo with little success. "Aw, man... Mom's gonna kill me for ruining another shirt..."

The small detective's face turned serious. "So we're looking for a killer pie."

Aoko's eyes got a little watery. "Who could have done such a horrible thing? Oh, poor Kaito!!!"

"Who was around at the time of the attack?" Conan asked.

"Hey! You!!!" Kaito pointed a finger at some younger teenagers, who backed up with horrified expressions. "No throwing pies in the hall!"

"Sorrrrryyyyyy!!!" The kids ran off, scrambling back into the crowd and promptly disappearing.

"I'm not sure." Aoko pondered it over. "There were lots of people around at the time, it could have been anyone."

"Does anyone have a reason ta kill him?" Heiji asked her, brows coming down in a thoughtful gesture.

"Oi, Aoko. I need a shower." Kaito tapped his friend on the back. "I'm heading home. You coming?"

"Not that I can think of." She shrugged in return. "Oh, poor Kaito! Why did this happen?!"

"I'M NOT DEAD!!!"

"So no clear motive." Conan mused. "We have the murder weapon, but no suspects or motive."

"Oi..." Kaito slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Forget it. I'm going home." Shaking his head, he turned and walked away, in search of a shower and fresh clothing.

The small huddle of detectives and inspector's daughters made thought noises as they pondered the case over. "This is going to be a tough one..."

-fin-

The problem of being trapped in a formulaic system is that sometimes you just fall into the routine. I.E. Someone screams, they race to the scene, there's a dead body.
I am so incredibly sorry Heiji and Conan came out somewhat stupid sounding. >_< Call it Deduction Burnout or something... o_O;;

No pie were harmed in the making of this fic. Thank you.

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