"Conan-kun!" Ran called, holding the receiver of the phone in one hand to muffle the noise. "Phone for you!"

Edogawa Conan, actually Kudo Shin'ichi shrunk to the body of an 8 year old after an unfortunate encounter with some men in black and a backfired poison, stuck his head out of his room. "Who is it?" He called back.

"Hattori-san! He says he has a question for you!"

A question? Conan mused, walking over. That was odd. Heiji Hattori, the Detective from the West, usually didn't call him for simple 'questions'.

Ran smiled kindly at him as she handed him the phone. "You might want to make it quick, before Dad wakes up from his nap." She whispered confidentially.

He nodded, taking the phone. Mouri wouldn't take kindly to him 'monopolizing his resources'. After all, there could be a call about a case at any time. "Thanks, Ran-neechan."

She twinkled at him, before turning to get back to her homework, which was spread out over the table. Satisfied that her attention was sufficiently diverted, he put the phone up to his ear. "What can I do for you, Hattori?"

Hattori made a sound that was distinctly uncomfortable. "I need to know, that while you were working on a case, under cover or whatever if you've ever-"

The rest of it was lost in an un legible mumble.

"What?" Conan asked, confused. "Could you repeat that?"

The dark skinned boy growled. "If you laugh, so help me Kudo, I'll rip your head off and give it to Mouri-san to use as an ashtray."

"Okay, okay. I promise I won't laugh." Conan promised. What could cause the normally easy-going Hattori to get so uptight?

Hattori sighed. "I need to know if you know how to dress in drag." He finally muttered.

Conan blinked. "Uh... no."

"Damn."

"May I inquire as to -why-?"

The other boy sighed again. "I lost a bet to Kazuha."

"So you have to dress in drag?"

"Worse. I have to dress as a woman and go to a play with her."

"Ouch."

"Yeah." Conan could practically see Hattori pace in nervousness. "And it's not exactly something I can just ask Mom about."

"Agreed. What was Kazuha's reaction?"

"She offered to loan me a dress."

"And-?"

"Do the words 'Pink, frilly and no way in heck' ring a bell to you, Kudo? I'm gonna feel stupid enough as it is, I'd rather not look it as well."

"Right." Conan thought for a minute. "Actually, I may know someone who could help. Can I call you back?"

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Oh, the play is this Sunday, so there's only a few days."

"Okay. Talk to you a few minutes."

Conan hung up the phone and glanced around. Mouri-san was still asleep at his desk and Ran was distracted with homework. He grinned, amusement bubbling. The predicaments Hattori and Kazuha got into were always fun.

"I'll be right back, Ran-neechan!" He called, grabbing a jacket as he headed out the door. "I've got to run a quick errand!"

"Okay! Be careful!" Ran called back, her attention still on the school work.

Conan grinned and quickly trotted down the stairs, to the phone booth across the street. Standing on tiptoes, he reached up to put a few coins in, then dialled a number he had carefully memorised recently.

The phone rang a couple of times, then a woman's voice answered it. "Moshi moshi, Kuroba residence."

"Hi! Is Kaito there?" He asked cheerfully, doing his best to sound like a genki 8-year old. Of course, it helped that he was currently in the body of an 8-year old.

"Just a moment. May I ask who is speaking?"

"Edogawa Conan."

"Thank you." There was the muffled sound of someone calling for Kaito, then the sound of footsteps. A slight paused followed, along with the sound of muffled conversation. Finally the boy picked up.

"Kaito here." The thief's voice was puzzled, almost uncertain. Conan smiled. It wasn't often he had the Kaitou Kid off balance.

"I have a favour to ask. Outside of the game."

"What kind of favour?" The thief was definitely suspicious.

"Friend of mine needs to dress as a woman and needs some help." He explained, enjoying himself. "And since you did such a good job imitating Ran..."

"Uh-huh." Kuroba didn't sound convinced. "What size?"

Conan did some quick mental calculations. "About Kudo's size, a little wider in the shoulders."

"Soccer player?"

"Kendo. Baseball fan as well."

There was a definite pause on the other end. "Dark skin, baseball cap and Osaka accent?"

"That's him. Hattori Heiji."

Another pause, not so long as the previous. "The Detective from the West? Can I ask -why-?"

"Lost a bet with a friend. He has to go to a play as a girl. He'd prefer to do a good job of it, rather than a really bad one."

A slight snicker from the phone. "Don't blame him. Alright, but I get a favour in return."

"What kind of favour?"

The glee from the thief was almost tangible. "I have a show at school coming up and I need an assistant. Out side of the game, of course."

Conan had a really bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "What kind of assisting?"

"Well, normally I'd ask Aoko, but she's getting a bit big. And the trick really does need a cute little girl to work properly."

He sweatdropped, debating if it was worth it to hit his head against the phone booth's walls. Might as well do the favour. He was stuck in the body of an 8 year old, it wasn't as if he had much more dignity left to loose. "Alright. I'll do it."

"Great!"

Conan had the sudden mental picture of Kuroba hopping manically in glee. If there actually wasn't a trick that required a small girl, he was pretty sure that the Magician Thief would make one up in time, just for him.

He mentally grimaced. Oh, well. It would be worth it to see Hattori in drag.

"Anything we need?" He asked, changing the subject back to the original topic.

"Does your girlfriend still have that dress I 'borrowed'?" Kuroba asked, a large grin in his voice. "That might fit. Everything else I can bring with me."

"She's not my girlfriend and I can check." He growled. "The play is this Sunday, by the way."

"That's fine. Where are we meeting?"

"I'm not sure. I can get the details and call you back."

"Perfect. Talk to you then. Ja!"

"Ja ne."

Conan hung up the phone and headed back to Mouri's apartment to call Hattori back, a smug grin on his face.

This was going to be amusing.

*** Later ***

"I was right." Hattori groaned that Sunday afternoon, inspecting himself in 'Ran's' red dress in the relative safety of his room. "I look stupid."

"No." Corrected Kuroba. Hattori had been told that Kuroba Kaito was a magician, and was thus required to be a master of disguise. The Osaka detective had appeared to accept that at face value, much to the Kaitou Kid's relief, and had welcomed him into his house. "You look like a guy in a dress."

"At least you aren't complaining that the dress makes you look fat." Conan piped up, grinning.

Hattori bopped him on the head. "Itai!" The smaller boy rubbed the top of his head, glaring at him.

"That's not the problem." Kuroba mused, ignoring Hattori's startled look. "The problem is the shoulders. We can fill the hips out, but your shoulders are too wide to look good in a dress."

"Unless you're pretending to be a fat woman." Conan supplied helpfully. He was having fun.

Hattori glared at him.

Even if it was painful.

"That could work." Kuroba pondered. "The only problem would be getting clothing large enough in time."

A knock on the door caused them all to jump, and Hattori to hide behind the door. "Come in!" Conan called, still grinning.

Hattori Shizuka, Heiji's mother, was in her habitual traditional kimono as she stepped inside carrying a tray of snacks and drinks. "I thought you might be like a snack while working on the costume." She said politely as she set them down on the floor.

"Thank you!" Kuroba grinned, pleased to notice that there was no fish among the snacks provided.

Conan scampered up, grinning angelically. "Thank you, Hattori-san!" He chirped.

"You're welcome." Shizuka smiled at him, patting him on the head. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"We will." Kuroba promised, waving as she walked back outside.

Hattori waited until she had left before coming out of his hiding spot. "How do you -do- that?" He asked as the innocent look faded off of Conan's face, to be replaced by Shin'ichi's piercing gaze.

Conan smirked, taking a drink off of the tray. "Practice."

"Oi, Hattori?" Kuroba distracted him. "Does your mother wear kimonos very often?"

"Almost every day." Hattori replied, sitting down on the floor next to the tray. "Why?"

Kuroba grinned, mischief sparkling in his eyes. Hattori paled. "Aw, no..."

Conan began to snicker.

"I'll answer that question in a minute." Kuroba smirked, an eyebrow disappearing into his bangs. "But first, a quick lesson in dress etiquette."

"Yeah?"

"Never sit cross legged in a short skirt."

Hattori turned red.

**** Later, that night ****

 

"Were is he?" Kazuha checked her watch for the third time in the past two minutes. "The play is going to start any minute!"

As if on cue, the lights dimmed, silencing the audience. She sighed, resigning herself to the fact that Hattori was a no show.

When she saw him again, he was going to get the chewing out of his life, Kazuha decided as she settled back into her seat. Teach him to back out of a dare, no matter how embarrassing it was.

Well, at least the play was supposed to be good. She'd chosen it because she had hoped that he might enjoy it. There was enough swordplay to at least keep his interest for a while. And it wasn't like she got him to go to the theatre very often. The stupid bet was the only thing she could think of to get him to come.

She sighed again, then got swept up in the story and forgot about Hattori. At least for a little while.

About halfway through the story, she started to sniffle during a sad song. A gentle nudge at her elbow drew her attention away from the stage and toward the properly dressed lady sitting next to her. The lady was silently offering her a handkerchief.

"Thank you." She whispered, taking the handkerchief and wiping her eyes. The lady said nothing, merely motioned for her to keep the tissue and turned her attention back to the show.

The show finally ended and audience dispersed, travelling in packs or pairs on their way to whatever was taking them home. Kazuha frowned, wondering where Hattori was again. She had half hoped that he would show up late.

"Oh, come on Kazuha. The show wasn't that bad." A cheerful voice commented behind her.

"Hattori?!" She spun, expecting to see her friend. Instead there was only the lady who had sat next to her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were-"

A very un-ladylike grin spread across the face of the lady. "Expecting someone?"

"Hattori!" She gave him a friendly slap in the arm. "Aho! You were there the whole time and didn't let me know?!"

Now that she was looking at him up close, it wasn't hard for her to see that it actually was Hattori. The loose haori hid what masculine features the kimono did not. The ornately fashioned wig and carefully applied makeup also helped to further mask his identity. The sparkle in his eyes was about his only recognisable feature.

Besides the cocky grin threatening to crack his face.

He chuckled, the sound at odds with his current appearance. "And where would the fun be in that?" He asked gleefully, falling in step next to her.

"Maybe allow me a chance to gloat for a change?" She retorted. Kazuha paused, turning thoughtful. "You look nice."

He waved it off. "You can thank Kudo. He knows the strangest people sometimes."

"Yourself included?" She grinned.

"Ha. Ha."

Kazuha smiled, happy just to have him with her. "No, seriously. You look good in a kimono. Better than me, anyway. Maybe you should wear one more often."

"That's because you're too curvy to wear one decently." He commented. "And this is the last time I'm ever wearing one."

She blinked. Had she just been complimented? A backhanded compliment, but a compliment none the less.

Kazuha glowed, and decided to stop teasing him about the kimono, at least for now. She hadn't expected him to actually do such a nice job of it anyway.

"Guess that'll teach you bet against me on baseball, won't it?" She said sweetly.

He glared at her.

"Ha."

Fin.

Moral of the story: Always take Kazuha seriously.

Notes:
Aho - Gentler/more polite form of 'Baka'. Still means an idiot, moron, stupid, etc., etc..
Ja / Ja ne - Casual form of goodbye.
Haori - light weight coat worn over a kimono. It's not meant to close in the front and are very comfortable. Looks nice over jeans too!

The comment about being too curvy to wear a kimono is something I learned in a web design class, of all places. A nice Japanese lady saw me wearing my haori and was displeased at me for it. Not because I was wearing it, but because it was a -Summer- haori and it was -Winter- time. Wrong season for that particular article of clothing. (never making that mistake again! ^^;; )

The discussion was then turned to Japanese clothing, where she made an interesting comment about kimonos. Girls with nice figures have to mask it, by putting a towel or some sort of cloth around their waist, to make it thicker. The obi (belt) is supposed to be perfectly straight, from top to bottom. No curving in for the waist.

And that has been our odd fact of the day. *grin!*