To Pants... Or not to Pants...A.K.A. The Quest for Inuyasha's TailTyped by Icka! M. Chif
Imp: *slides up to Inuyasha*: Do you... have a tail? Inuyasha *puts his hands behind his back, guarding his butt*: No... Evil: I think he's lying. Kagome: We could always check. Evil: Kagome, that is so unlike you. I like it! Kagome *shrugs*: I'm just curious. Inuyasha *glaring at Kagome*: No. Icka!: Takahashi-sensei said that he's a half breed, he probably doesn't have a tail. Evil: Screw that, I wanna see for myself! Morals: I object! You CANNOT be serious! Evil *snaps fingers*: Imp. *Imp mallets Morals over the head, throws him in a barrel and starts to duct tape it shut. It hesitates for a second, then throws in a live squid as well, and seals the barrel.) Shippou: A squid?! *Imp nods, grinning broadly* Shippou: O-kay... Icka! *blink*: My prankish side knocked out my honourable self... heh. Evil: Eh, you don't need it anyway. On to the un-dressing!!! *Kagome cheers!* Shippou: Uh... he's gone... *Everyone looks around. Sure enough, Inuyasha made a break for it while everyone was distracted by Morals being knocked out.* Kagome: After him!!! Evil: Release the hounds!!! Oh, wait... we don't have any dogs... Shippou: Don't look at me. Evil: Very well. Release the fish!! Icka!: This is not good. Kagome: Why don't you just have Imp track him down? Evil: Oh. Point. *snaps a leash on Imp. Imp glares at her.* After him!!! *Imp takes off at a dead run, dragging a screaming Evil behind it. Kagome with Shippou and Icka! chase after.* Kikyo: Noticing the crowd*: What's going on? Kagome: Un-dressing Inuyasha. Kikyo: I'm there. *joins the group.* *They find Inuyasha hiding way up in a tree, out of harms way.* Inuyasha: I'm not coming down!!! Evil: Imp- Imp: I'm crazy, not stupid. Kikyo: Okay, so we need to get rid of the tree somehow. Kagome *to Evil*: You've got knives? Evil: Yes. But I've got a better idea. *Evil runs off for a second, then re-appears with Sesshou-maru in tow.* Sesshou-maru: Dokkasou!! *melts the tree.* Inuyasha *falling*: Aaaah! Kagome: Get him! *There is a general dogpile of female flesh on the dog boy.* Evil *grinning*: Thanks, Sesshou-maru!!! Sesshou-maru *smirks*: Anything to embarrass my 'baby brother'. Inuyasha: Aargh!!! Get off me!!! Imp *cheers*: I got his belt! Inuyasha *roars, trying to get free*: Gimme that!!! Evil: Nope! Get his shirt! Get his shirt! Kagome: I got it!! Yeah!!! Inuyasha: That is IT!!! *Inuyasha breaks free and takes off running, leaving Kagome holding his cloak.* Evil *chasing after him*: Get him! Kikyo *running as well*: Dibs on the undershirt! Imp: I got him!!! *Dives for Inuyasha's legs and wraps it's self around his left leg* Icka!: Ah... so that's where I got that move... Inuyasha: Leggo! *starts kicking his leg, trying to free himself.* Imp: No! *Hugs the fabric tighter to get a better grip on the leg and accidentally tugs his pants down. Inuyasha moons everyone.* Shippou *covering his eyes*: Aaah!! I'm Blind!!! Inuyasha *turns bright red and attempts to pull his pants back up*: Gah! Sesshou-maru *sing songs*: I see London, I see France... Evil: Huh. No tail. Bummer. Inuyasha *pissed*: I told you!!! Imp: Maybe it's detachable... Inuyasha *growls*: Get off me! Imp: Now? Inuyasha: YES!!! Imp: Oh. *Slithers off his leg. Inuyasha pulls up his pants with as much dignity as he possibly can.* Evil: Of course, you know what this means? Kagome *blink*: No... Evil: We must find Inuyasha a tail!!! *Everyone face faults and crashes into the ground. Inuyasha recovers first.* Inuyasha: But what if I don't WANT a tail? Evil: But they're a useful accessory. Just ask Sesshou-maru. *Sesshou-maru nods, absentmindedly petting the one that's over his shoulder* Inuyasha: He doesn't count! Sesshou-maru: Why not? Inuyasha: Because... because... Aw, who's side are you on anyway?! Sesshou-maru *honestly*: My own, of course. Imp: Be grateful we're not making this yoai, or it could be a lot more fun. *Sesshou-maru and Inuyasha frantically shake their heads, eyes wide.* Shippou: What's 'Yoai'? Icka!: Uh... Young Over Active Imaginations-? Shippou *nods*: Oh. Icka!: Whew... I can't believe I'm typing this... Evil: Anyway. Back to The Quest For Inuyasha's Tail! Kikyo *clapping hands and hopping up and down excitedly*: Oh!! Lets do this Monty Python Style!!! Kagome: How did you hear about 'Monty Python'? Kikyo *primly*: Plot hole. Kagome: Oh. Makes sense... Icka!: But we don't have any coconuts... Kagome: That's true. We don't have any sparrows either. Kikyo: African or European? Kagome: Don't tell me you've got some. Kikyo: No. Kagome: Whew... Scared me there for a second. Imp: I've got Squid! Evil: Why do you have squid? Imp: Uh... cuz they're funny? Inuyasha *to his brother*: What... is your favourite colour? Sesshou-maru: Blood. No, WhiiiiittttEEEEEEE!!! *Sesshou-maru gets flung out of the story* *Inuyasha snickers* Evil: That wasn't nice. Inuyasha: This, coming from someone named 'Evil'? Evil: Oh. Right. Nevermind... Kagome *still talking to Kikyo*: So, what do you have? Kikyo: I think I've got some marshmallows. You know, for emergencies. Imp: Your emergencies worry me. Kikyo: Well, you never know when someone's going to be cremated again. Kagome: She's got a point... Evil: Can we get back to the Quest? Inuyasha: Can we not and say we did? Evil: No. Inuyasha: Dang it. Shippou: Nice try tho... Kagome: Maybe we can ask Sango if she knows were we can find a tail for Inuyasha. Shippou: I think that Sango would rather find out if Miroku has a tail. Kikyo: Oh, he does. It's all long and pointy. The robes hide it well. *Everyone looks at Kikyo suspiciously.* Kagome: Ano... and how do you know that? Kikyo *smugly*: Miko's secret. Evil: Is that like a Nun's habit? Imp: Your secrets are starting to worry me. Kagome: So where are we gonna look for a tail for Inuyasha now that Sesshou-maru's gone? Icka!: I think I've got an idea... Inuyasha: But I don't want a tail! Evil: Tough! You're getting a tail! Icka! *pulls out a giant mechanical pencil from hammerspace*: Now hold still... Inuyasha: Aaaahhhh!!!! *trys to make a break for it* Evil: Get him!!! Kagome: I got him! *Kagome tackles him, giving him an amazon glomp that Shampoo would be proud of* Inuyasha: Leggo!! I can't breeeathe!! Kikyo: Where did you learn to do that?! Kagome: You get enough glomps from Kouga, you eventually figure out how they're done. Inuyasha: Let me go!! Evil: Hold him down!!! *Evil, Imp and Kikyo grab Inuyasha's limps, pinning him to the ground.* Imp: Do you need his pants down? Icka!: Uh, no. Just hold him still. And, uh, Kagome... You're going to have to have to get off the top of him. Kagome: Oh. *blushes, climbing off him* Right. *Shippou snickers* Inuyasha: What the #@$!@^ do you think you're going to do?! Icka!: This. *Icka! carefully draws a small tail on the lower part of Inuyasha's back, about the size of Shippou's, but less fluffy.* Icka!: There. You have a tail. Inuyasha: What?! Evil: And it didn't hurt a bit. Imp: It could have if the pencil slipped... Inuyasha: Shut up! Shippou *giggling*: I think you can release him now... Kikyo *innocently*: Release him? Imp: Okay! *lets go and bounces out of harms way.* *Inuyasha uses the freed limb for leverage to get out of the remaining female's grasp.* Inuyasha: I can't believe I have a tail!!! What the hell am I supposed to do with it?! Evil *smirks*: Shake it. Inuyasha: Huh? *Kagome and Kikyo cheer.* Kikyo: I gotta record this for posterity. *pulls out a video camera* Evil: You know, you and Kagome are acting quite out of character today. Kikyo: I know! Isn't it cool?! No witch of doom for me!! Today, we have fun! Whoooo!!! Kagome: Well, I suppose even she's entitled to have fun every so often... Imp: Yup! Yup! Yup! Inuyasha: You can go have fun on your own. I'm going to go get rid of this blasted tail! *runs off* Kikyo *holding up the camera to record him as he moves*: Yeah!! Shake it!!! Evil *cheers*: After him! *Imp howls as it chases after, Evil, Kikyo and Kagome on it's heels. Icka! sweatdrops.* Icka!: Sometimes I wonder why I do these things... Shippou *nods*: You and me both. Icka!: Eh, if I thought about it, I'd stop. So, what are we doing next? Shippou *turning into his balloon form*: You will feed me lots of strawberry milkshakes or I'll kill you!!! Icka! *sweatdropping even more Shippou nibbles on her horns*: Ri-ght. *Icka! and Shippou walk off in search of strawberry milkshakes when they run across Auto.* Icka!: Where have you been this entire story?! Auto: Out. Here, I wrestled this from Imp as it ran by. Thought you might like it. *Hands Icka! a white fluffy thing about a foot long. Icka! blinks, examining it.* Shippou: Ha! Whadda know... It IS detachable!!! Fin. |
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