Voices tell a Story 3.

Imp Narrates the Half Deamon and the Pea.

Typed By Icka! M. Chif

Imp: Story time!

Icka!: Again? You just told one yesterday!

Imp: So?

Icka!: Right. Forgot who I was talking to for a second. You're not going to let me work on my webpage, are you?

Auto: I would also like to tell a story.

Icka!: *blink*

Evil: Of how Inuyasha's parents got together.

Imp: No! We're telling the Princess and the Pea!

Icka!: Ano.... can we tell them both?

Evil: Hey, Morals! Can we combine stories?

Morals: I see no problem with it.

Evil: Okay, our conscious is clear. Let's go for it.

Icka!: You're in a good mood today. Alright. I've got the keyboard again, no wiffling.

Imp: Dangit! I getta cast then!

All (except Imp, who's grinning): Uh-oh.

Imp *grinning from ear to ear*: Inuyasha is prince, Kagome is princess.

Auto: Wait, we're telling how his parents met.

Imp: 'Kay. Inuyasha still prince.

Evil: Argh! You are so dense!

Imp: I am not dense. I'm dead.

Icka!: You're a voice. 'Nuff said. More story and less bickering please.

*General raspberries from the peanut gallery.*

Icka!: Sheesh.

Morals: Okay, how about Inuyasha plays his father, who is the prince in the story?

Imp: Have better idea.

Icka!: You're starting to sound a lot like Shampoo, you know that?

Evil: What?

Imp: Accept no substitutes! Demand the real poo! Anyway. You type, I'll narrate.

Auto: Oh, boy...

Imp: Once upon a time, there lived a Princess who lived in a castle, as most Princess do. Shut up, Evil. *Evil looks back innocently, biting her tongue.* Well, one day her parents decided that she must be married, so they sent her to the neighbouring kingdoms to find a husband.

Morals: Wait, who's the Princess? And isn't supposed to be a Prince?

Imp: Is MY story!

Auto: We've heard that one before...

Imp: Anyway. Kagome's the Princess.

*Kouga immediately runs up and glomps Kagome*

Kouga: MINE!

Kagome: Who said I was YOURS?

Kouga: You're looking for a husband, and here I am!

*Kagome pulls out a mallet and boots Kouga into Lower Earth Orbit, Tendo Akane style*

Kagome: Thanks. *hands Icka! back her mallet*

Icka!: Any time.

Imp *continuing with a self satisfied grin on it's face*: Needless to say, the Princess returned home without any luck.

Shippou: Kouga was lucky though...

Inuyasha *bops Shippou*: Shaddup!

Shippou: Ow! I meant he got out of the story after only two lines while the rest of us are waiting to be cast! What did you think I meant?!

Inuyasha *blushing slightly*: Nevermind...

Morals: Speaking of suitours, where's Hojo?

Evil: He's waiting outside the movie theatre.

Auto: Still?

Evil: Yup.

Auto: Oh, boy...

Imp: So anyway... The Princess' parents weren't very happy with it, but couldn't find fault with the Princess' logic.

Kagome: Good.

Evil: Wait, isn't this supposed to be telling how Inuyasha's parents met?

Imp: We are. Kagome is playing Inuyasha's mom, who is the Princess.

Auto: So, who are her parents?

Imp: Fluffy is Father and Kaede-Baba is Mum.

Evil: Fluffy?

Imp: Tail boy.

Morals: Huh?

Imp *waves in general direction of the Inuyasha cast*: Him. Girly youkai.

Evil *catching on*: You mean Sesshou-maru?

Imp: Yeah. Wot ever his name is.

Sesshou-maru: I am not a girl.

Evil: He's just Bishy.

Imp *tilts hand back and forth*: Wishy?

Sesshou-maru *solemly*: I do not swing that way either.

Evil: Bishy means he's a really cute guy. You know. Yummy.

Sesshou-maru *blushes faintly*: I am not 'yummy'.

Morals: You're not a lot of things, are you?

Sesshou-maru: Shut up.

*Inuyasha snickers*

Evil *grins like a shark*: Inuyasha's Bishy too.

*Kagome hides a giggle as Inuyasha straightens up as if bit.*

Kagome: Could we please not feed his ego any more than it is?

Evil *shrugs*: That's okay. He's still not as Bishy as his brother.

Icka!: And Kenshin's more Bishy than Sesshou-maru. Can we please get off this Bishy kick and back to the fic?

Imp: Hey, that rhymed! 'Kay, anyway. So the Princess returned home without a husband and was greeted by her parents with open arms and smiles.

Sesshou-maru: Feh.

Kaede-Baba: How did I get married to HIM?

Auto: Bad luck?

Imp: So that night, just as they settled down to dinner, there was a knock on the door.

Sesshou-maru: Jaken, get that.

Jaken: Hai, O'Sesshou-maru sama! *runs off*

Kaede-Baba: I see that you have him well trained.

*Sesshou-maru smirks.*

Kagome: THESE are my parents?

Jaken *running back in*: M'lord and Mistress, there's a flea bitten varmint at the door requestin' shelter fer the night!

Imp *Whiffles Jaken*: That's not the right line!

Icka!: Whiffles?

Jaken: Owie... I meant to say that there is a man at the door who requests shelter from the storm out side. 'E claims that 'e's a Prince.

Kagome: There's a storm outside?

Kaede-Baba: A prince?

Sesshou-maru: Well then, by all means, lets go meet this 'Prince'.

Imp: So the Princess and her family went to the door to greet this Prince, who had been standing out in the rain all this time.

Inuyasha: @#%U^$#%(&$!

Sesshou-maru: And YOU'RE a Prince?

Inuyasha *growls*: I never said that! Myouga did!

Myouga *jumps off of Inuyasha's shoulder*: Well, my work here is done. *hops off into the distance*

Morals: That was lame.

Imp: So the royal family invited the Prince inside to spend the night.

Kaede-Baba: Please, come in.

Sesshou-maru: Fine. Whatever. It'll be easier to take the Tetsusaiga this way. *raises his voice* Take him to the baths and make sure he gets clean.

*A hoard of screaming fan girls come rushing in, pick up Inuyasha and carry him to the baths.*

Kagome *blink*: Na-ni?

Icka!: They want to see if he has a tail or not.

Kagome *facefaults*: Oy. I'd better go rescue him. *walks off*

Sesshou-maru *snickers evilly*: Prince, indeed. *stalks off*

Imp: The Queen realised that she would need some way to protect the Prince through the night and hatched upon an idea.

Kaede-Baba: Quick! Go and get 40 futons and 40 modern day mattresses and stack them up on top of a bed frame.

Jaken: Ye be kidding me, right? That will break the frame!

Icka!: Not in this story.

Imp: So the toady man went and piled up 40 futons and 40 modern day mattress on a bed frame. And on the very bottom layer, Queen put the Shikon no Tama.

Kaede-Baba: There. Now if he can survive the night, he will have proved himself worthy enough to wed my daughter.

Kagome *coming out of the bathrooms, half soaked*: What?! I'm not marring HIM! Oh, wait... he's not Kouga... I take that back...

Inuyasha *follows Kagome, completely drenched, but (mostly) fully clothed*: The first part of what she said! Double!

Morals: Isn't supposed to be a pea on the very bottom?

Shippou: We don't have a pea, but we've got the Shikon no Tama.

Evil: And Inuyasha and Kagome just came out of the bathroom, they don't have to pee.

Morals: You're disgusting. *Evil smirks in response*

Imp: So, that night, Inuyasha found himself on top of the huge pile of... bed things.

Jaken: Gwak! Wait! I haven't finished tying the ladders together so he can climb up!

Inuyasha: Feh.

*Inuyasha jumps up and lands on top of the pile of... bed things in one leap. It wobbles dangerously for a bit, then stablizes*

Inuyasha: I'm supposed to sleep on HERE?!

Imp: Yep. Is part of the story.

Inuyasha: I'm starting to wonder which of us is more crazy. You for narrating this or me for going along with!

Auto: I'm not even going to comment.

Morals: You just did.

Auto: ...

Imp: So, that night the King snuck into the Prince's bed room to kill him and steal the Steel Claving Fang.

Sesshou-maru: Finally. Dokkasou!!

*Sesshou-maru melts some of the mattresses and futons. More slide into place, leaving Inuyasha un-disturbed up on top.*

Sesshou-maru: Dokkasou!! *melts more bed things*

Imp: But every time he melted one mattress, another would slide down to take it's place.

Sesshou-maru: &^$#&^*&@%^!

Inuyasha *opening one eye sleeply*: And you're the KING?

Sesshou-maru: To the hells with this! Die!

*Wham! A large feather mattress falls on Sesshou-maru.*

Shippou: Gee, somebody's cranky when they're up past their bedtime.

Sesshou-maru: #$$%^&^%^*&(*&&#$%!!!

Inuyasha: On second thought, I like this bed!

Imp: So, the King was unsuccessful in his conquest to kill the Prince. The next morning, everyone came down for breakfast and to pretend the previous night never happened.

Kaede-Baba: So, how did you sleep last night Inuyasha?

Shippou: Like this! *Poof!*

*Shippou turns into a chibi Inuyasha, sprawled out on a pile of mattresses, sound asleep with a snot balloon coming out of one nostril. Inuyasha bops him.*

Inuyasha: What are you even doing in this story, you haven't been cast!

Kagome: He's my side kick.

Shippou: She's my side kick.

Auto: My head hurts.

Kaede-Baba: That doesn't answer my question.

Inuyasha: Horribly! That bed was way too soft for me. I'm sticking to sleeping in trees. Besides, there was a lump in it.

Kaede-Baba: Yep, he's a real prince. Okay, you and Princess Kagome can get married.

Inuyasha: WHAT?!

Imp *cheerfully*: And so, the Prince and the Princess were married and lived happily ever after!

Evil *pleased*: And that's how Inuyasha's parents met.

Inuyasha: THAT'S NOT HOW THEY MET!

Imp *innocently*: Okay, then how did they meet?

Inuyasha *sweatdrops*: Ask the flea. He knows.

Auto: I'm still confused about everything. Inuyasha is his father, Kagome is Inuyasha's mother but is really just a traveling companion. Inuyasha's half brother is his father's father-in-law? And his former love, who now is undead and hates him's sister is his mother-in-law? I'm lost...

Morals: It's best not to think about it to much. Please don't bring up Kikyo too much. That's a very touchy subject.

Kagome: Just what do you mean 'touchy'?

Morals *sweatdrops, backing away*: Uh, not that way...

Inuyasha: I don't like this ending.

Sesshou-maru: Give me the sword and I'll change it.

Inuyasha: Uh... no.

Imp: I'll change it!

The other 3 voices: Uh-oh.

Kaede-Baba: I'm going to bed. You youngsters do what you will.

Evil *sniffs*: We're not THAT young.

Imp: New ending! The next morning, Kagome woke up to find herself curled up asleep with Inuyasha.

Kagome: What?!

*Inuyasha's ears flatten, he just knows this is going to be a bad scene.*

Kagome: You pervert! Si-

Inuyasha *one hand clamped over Kagome's mouth* Don't say it!

Kagome *muffled and quite angry*: Why not?

*Inuyasha points down. They're on Inuyasha's regular bed, a tree branch. Saying 'sit' would cause them both to fall a very long way. Kagome nods and Inuyasha removes his hand.*

Imp: Tee-hee!

Kagome: Wait...This is just a tree branch. Where's the rest of the tree?

Fin.