Disclaimer: Ever sat there watching TV and realize 'gee, that person would fit right in a different universe'? Well, the voices did and here's the result. Sonic, Tails, Sally and all related characters belong to Sega, Archie and DiC, Slappy and Skippy Squirrel belong to Warner Bros. Making no money or profit off of it, for amusement purposes only and without permission. See Authour's notes on the bottom for inside jokes. Ta-ta Dah-lings!

Slappy Sonic

By Icka! M. Chif

"Yo, Sal!" Sonic screeched to a halt inside Sally's room, causing everything not tied down to fly up into the air. Sally frantically grabbed the papers she'd been looking at out of mid-air.

"Sonic!!!" She snapped. "When are you going to learn to knock?!"

Sonic gave her a blank look. "Knock?" He repeated as if it were a foreign word. She growled and rolled her eyes. Some days it just wasn't worth it.

"What's going on?" She asked, realizing there must be some other reason for him to burst in like that aside from annoying her.

"Oh! Yeah." She could almost see the light go on in his head as Sonic switched mental tracks. "There's a couple of squirrels looking for you at the edge of the forest. A cranky old gray one and a young brown one."

She racked her brains trying to figure out who it could be. "Looking for *me*?" She pondered, drawing a blank.

"Well, she requested the 'guy in charge'." Sonic smirked. "I've never seen them before. C'mon, Tails is keeping an eye on them." He picked her up and sped off, rearranging all her paper work again.

The gray squirrel peered at her out from under her green bowler as Sonic stopped in on the edge of the Great Forest. "You the one in charge?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm Princess Sally of the House of Acorn. And you are-?"

"Slappy Squirrel, pleased ta meetcha." The squirrel shook her hand with a surprisingly strong grip. "And this is my nephew, Skippy."

Sally then noticed the smaller brown and tan squirrel, about Tails size bouncing up and down next to his aunt, eating what looked like cereal from a box. "Hi!" He bubbled. Sally had to stop watching him after a second or two, his constant movement was making her dizzy.

"Where's Tails?" She asked, not seeing the small two-tailed fox.

In unison, the two squirrels pointed up. Tails was buzzing around in fast hyperactive circles above their heads, doing a remarkably accurate impression of a bumblebee.

"I gave him some of my Sugar Snacks." Skippy informed her helpfully, still bouncing.

"He ain't coming down any time soon." The other squirrel added dryly.

"Oh, my."

"Anyway," Slappy continued. "Zippy here says that you're the one ta talk to."

"Zippy?"

"The fast blue guy." Slappy motioned to Sonic with a thumb. Sonic glared at her, crossing his arms.

"So what can I do for you?" Sally quickly asked before Sonic could say anything.

"Well, see, it's like this. I promised Skippy here that if he did good on his Toon Physics test, I'd let him blow something up."

"I aced it!" Skippy cheered, still bouncing.

Slappy nodded sagely, continuing. "So it goes like this, it's not funny unless the person getting it deserves it and I understand you have a problem with pests, Robuttski or something."

"Robotic" Skippy supplied.

"Ro-BUTT-nik." Tails added from above them.

"Butt-nik." Sonic growled.

"Robotnik." She corrected. "Yes."

Slappy nodded again. "Right. So here's the deal. You point us in the direction to this Buttski guy and I teach Skippy here the proper way to plant ammunitions, something goes boom, Yadda yadda yadda everybody's happy. Whadda say?"

Sally puzzled it over for a moment. She doubted that Knothole was in any danger from them, for all intents and appearances, Slappy seemed sincere. But she just struck her as... strange. People usually did not go around offering to blow up your worst enemy. Finally she sighed. "Alright. Robotnik's headquarters is that way, in the middle of Robotropolis. Big metal egg shaped thing, you can't miss it."

"Thanks. C'mon Skippy." Slappy motioned for her nephew to follow her.

"Ya want me to take you there?" Sonic offered.

"Naw, thanks any way Zippy. This ways faster." Slappy informed him, walking behind a tree. Skippy waved, merrily skipping behind her.

"Faster?!" Sonic sputtered, straightening. "Faster?!!"

"Calm down. I'm sure she didn't mean it mean it like that." Sally assured him.

"Umm...AuntSally?Sonic?" Tails called from the other side of the tree the two squirrels had disappeared from. "They'regone.They'renotlongerheretheydisappearedandvanishedandIdon'tseethemanymore."

"What do you mean 'gone'?" Sonic asked, a bit on edge.

"They'renothere." Tails puzzled, buzzing around the tree in circles. "Idon'tseethemanywhere."

"That's not possible." Sally walked over to the tree. "They couldn't have just disappeared."

"Theydidormaybetheyhadsomesortofteleportationdeviceandteleportedawaysowecouldnotlongerseethemand-."

Sally had to tune Tails out, trying to make sense of what he was saying was starting to make her head pound.

Sonic tapped his foot for a minute, then suddenly a blue dust devil spun around the area. Sonic re-appeared as the dust settled, now standing next to Sally, the same slightly puzzled frown on his face. "They're not in the area." He mused.

Sally pulled out Nicole. "Nicole, scan for all life forms in the local vicinity."

"Scanning Sally...." Nicole hummed gently in Sally's hand for a few seconds. "Three life forms present, Sally. Identify: Princess Sally Acorn, Sonic Hedgehog, Miles Prowler."

"Any unusual energy patterns?"

"One present: Miles Prowler is demostraighting unusually high-energy patterns."

"Thank you Nicole." Sally thoughtfully closed her computer and stuck it back on her boot.

"Sowhere'dtheygo?" Tails asked, still buzzing around them.

"I don't know..." Sally said grimly. She did not like unknown things. They tended to lead to trouble.

Just as she said it, the three became aware of someone talking. Slappy and Skippy appeared out from behind another tree, Slappy lecturing her nephew. "-So Skippy, that is how you plant explosives for maximum damage. Got it?"

"Got it, Aunt Slappy." Skippy dutifully acknowledged, carrying a box with a plunger on the top. Some cords trailed out behind it, vanishing behind the tree they stepped out from behind. Skippy set it down as they stopped.

"Ah, there you are." Slappy said calmly, catching sight of them.

"There we are?! Where'd you go?" Sonic demanded.

"To Buttsky's place, just like we said." Slappy shrugged. "What were expecting? Tocumcari?"

"But you just stepped behind a tree!" Sally exclaimed, waving her arm in the direction of the tree they had disappeared behind.

"Yep." Slappy agreed. "Two of them in fact."

Before any of the Knotholers could delve into that further, they were interrupted by Skippy excitedly chanting as he bounced up and down. "I wanna push the plunger! I wanna push the plunger!"

"You are starting to remind me of a young Joe Alaskey, Skippy." Sally groused. "Go fer it."

"Yeah!" Skippy jumped forward, using his meager body weight to force the trigger down.

Nothing happened.

"Well, that's a gyp." Sonic muttered darkly, crossing his arms and tapping his foot.

"Ye of little faith." Slappy said, pulling out a pocket watch as Skippy bounced from foot to foot next to her excitedly. The watches second hand crept toward the top. "Wait for it..."

"Now!"

As if on cue, a huge mushroom cloud appeared in the background, right where Robotropolis was, followed seconds later by an earth shaking 'BOOM!'

Skippy cheered, jumping up and down again as the three Freedom Fighters stared in shock.

Tails was the first one to speak. "You-youblewitup!"

"Yup!" Skippy grinned proudly.

"That's m'boy!" Slappy smiled.

"I don't believe it!" Sally exclaimed. "You blew up the entire city?!"

"Not the entire city. Just launched the egg shaped thing into space. Minus those metal looking people." Slappy assured her. "Though I could blow up the entire city, for a nominal fee of course. Explosives don't come cheap, y'know."

"Uhh... that's quite alright..." She managed to say.

"Well, suit yerself. C'mon Skippy. We gotta get back before those mooks at Warner Bros. decide ta scrap our show."

"Right Aunt Slappy!" Skippy nodded. "Bye! Nice meeting you all!" He waved as he followed the older gray squirrel into the forest again.

Tails nodded back enthusiastically as the squirrels disappeared behind a tree and vanished from view again. "AuntSally!Sonic!They'regoneagain!" He called.

"It's okay Tails, just let them go..." Sally said in a kind of dazed tone, still staring at the smoke coming from Robotropolis.

"Ya suppose we should go check it out, Sal?" Sonic asked.

"Yes." She shook her head, clearing it. "Yes, I think we'd better."

"CanIcome?" Tails buzzed. "RaceyaSonic!" The kit fox took off toward the smoldering city before they could answer.

Sonic picked up Sally. "This is waaaay past weird." He remarked before taking off after Tails.

Sally could only agree.

Finis.

Authour's notes:

1. Joe Alaskey does the voice of Plucky Duck, from Tiny Toon Adventures. I'm not sure if he does the voice of Baby Plucky, whom I kinda took the line from. "I wanna push the button! I wanna push the button!"

two. It is my sad duty (if you didn't already know) to inform you that Warner Bros. is no longer making any new episodes of Animaniacs as of Fall 98. May they live long in syndication.

3. I can't remember the actual name of the cereal that Skippy eats and makes him bounce a lot, this was the closest that sounded right to me. If ya know, please let me know and I'll correct it with credit to you.

4. This is the end of the authour's notes! Huzzah!

Any comments, questions and Slappy Squirrel fanfics, please send to icka_IMP@hotmail.com.

P.S. Now *that's* comedy!