Disclaimer: This story was written for one reason, and one reason only. The voices thought it would be great fun to bop Jaken on the head, and in as many was as they could. My apologies. Playground belong to Takahashi Rumiko sama, I'm just playing on the swings.

Jaken's Diary, as told to the Narrator.

By Icka! M. Chif

Jaken: Ye want me to tell ye what I did yesterday? Why?

Narrator: It'll make a good story.

Jaken: Really?

Narrator: Well, the Voices said so...

Jaken *scratches head*: Well, I got out of me bed as usual, and hit my head on the roof of the niche.

Narrator: Ouch!

Jaken: Yeah. Cursed a bit under my breath and set about makin' breakfast for the ru- uh, for Rin. The Master's not going to be reading this, is he?

Narrator: Naw. Go on.

Jaken: Well, Lord Sesshou-maru woke up and did join the runt for breakfast. I cleaned up when they were done and started on me errands for the Master.

Narrator: Such as?

Jaken: Um, finding clothes for the runt, what to eat for the day, new arms for the Master. Normal routine.

Narrator: Anything interesting happen while you were doing so?

Jaken: Just the usual, humans fleein' before me might-

Narrator *sweatdrops*: You fried them with the Head Staff, didn't you?

Jaken: Well, aye... But not before'n they fled before my might!

Narrator: Had a feeling… So what happened after you torched the village?

Jaken: Well, I collected the supplies that I'd been sent for and headed back to Sesshou-maru sama, hitting me head several times on some misbegotten branches.

Narrator: Branches?

Jaken: Aye. They won't be doin' that again! Nyeh heh heh.

Narrator: You raided a village and headed home. And that was it for your day?

Jaken *scratches the back of his neck*: Well, um... nay quite. Y'see on my way home, I accidentally ran across the wench that travels with M'lord bastard brother.

Narrator: Kagome?

Jaken: Aye, whatever the wench's name be. She was bathin' in a pool at the time. I'm beginin' to understand why the cur travels wit' her...

Narrator: *ahem* So what happened next?

Jaken: That runt of a kitsune jumped on me head, thinkin' it be a rock.

Narrator: He didn't.

Jaken: He did! I swatted him a good one fer it. He let out the funniest yelp as he leapt off. And then...

Narrator: And then?

Jaken *muttering*: She saw me...

Narrator: She what?!

Jaken *slightly louder*: She saw me.

Narrator: Oh, boy... What did she do?

Jaken: Well.. first she screamed pervert, then dropped a rock on me head. Whilst I were temporarily stunned by that, as if a mere rock could keep me down, she grabbed me headstaff and proceed te hit me wit' that.

Narrator: Then you got a way?

Jaken: No, then the blasted cur showed up.

Narrator: Inuyasha? ...And you're in one piece?

Jaken *puffing himself up* As if a whelp like that could hurt me!

Narrator: So what did he do?

Jaken *deflating slightly*: I, uh, don't remember....

Narrator: You don't remember-?! What DO you remember then?

Jaken *scratches his head nervously*: The accursed half breed pulled out his father's fang, and then... *trails off*

Narrator: And then-?

Jaken *scratches head nervously *: I woke up several hours later, many miles away.

Narrator *blink*: Many... miles... away?

Jaken *nods*: Aye. It took me the rest o' the day to get back home. Fortunately, I still had me supplies.

Narrator: So the majority of your day was spent laying unconscious in a field somewhere?

Jaken: Oh no, the majority o' the day was spent collectin' supplies, then catchin' up to Sesshou-maru sama.

Narrator: So the incident with Inuyasha and Kagome was just a slight detour in your day?

Jaken: Oh, yes. Very much so. A minor detail in an otherwise average day.

Narrator *shrug*: So what happened when you caught up to Sesshou-maru?

Jaken: He bopped me on the head for bein' late. I apologised and made dinner. And the runt hugged me... ick. *shudders*

Narrator: What happened then?

Jaken: I went to bed, hittin' my head on the niche again and fell asleep.

Narrator: You hit your head a lot, dontcha?

Jaken: Nay more than the average person.

Narrator *pauses*: ... Well, thank you for your time, Jaken-san.

Jaken: You're welcome. And you're quite sure M'Lord Sesshou-maru won't see this?

Narrator: Quite.

Jaken: Good. *twirls head staff* Then I don't have to kill ye. *snickers and walks off*

Narrator *long sigh*: Deamons...

Fin.