How to Catch 'Em All.
By Icka! M. Chif
Plan A
Step 1: Go back in time to the Warring States.
Step 2: Wrestle control of a Shikon Shard from nearby youkai.
Step 3: Use Shard as bait for certain half youkai.
Step 4: When certain half youkai does appear with his pack, use sleeping gas on the whole lot of them.
Step 5: Put certain half youkai into Time Machine and return to Top Secret headquarters.
Step 6: Duct tape certain half youkai to a chair and ravish him!
And that's how you capture a certain half youkai. Unfortunately, time machines, sleeping gas and top secret head quarters are very costly. There
fore, we offer this more economy based solution.
Plan B
Step 1: Fly to Tokyo.
Step2: Hide in the mini shrine of a temple.
Step 3: Wait for someone to exit out of it.
Step 4: When dark haired teen age girl exits, scare the pants off of her.
Step 5: Screams of dark haired teen is sure to draw a certain half youkai out of well.
Step 6: Bop certain half youkai over the head with a mallet.
Step 7: Drag certain half youkai to hidden pre-selected location free from annoying siblings/parents/rival otaku.
Step 8: Duct tape certain half youkai to a chair and ravish him!
As you can see, you can have a certain half youkai for the price of a plane
ticket, mallet, duct tape and a chair. It make take a few more steps than
Plan A, but far cheaper.
It would also be noted that Plan A can be altered to capture almost any male
one may wish.
Plan C
Step 1: Go back in time to the Warring States.
Step 2: Show a little leg to certain passing traveling monk.
Step 3: Agree to certain traveling monk's question.
Step 4: Follow certain passing monk to hidden pre-selected location and be ravished!
Simple, ne?
Plan D
Step 1: Go back in time to the Warring States.
Step 2: Find certain bishounen dog youkai and company.
Step 3: Shout 'Look! There's a missing arm!'
Step 4: When certain bishounen dog youkai looks, grab his toady henchman and run.
Step 5: Drag toady henchman to pre-slected hidden location, duct tape him to a high chair and ravish him!
And if you're more interested in the bishounen dog youkai than his toady
henchman, that's not a problem either.
Plan E
Step 1: Go back in time to the Warring States.
Step 2: Find certain bishounen dog youkai and company.
Step 3: Shout 'Look! There's a missing arm!'
Step 4: When certain bishounen dog youkai looks, mallet him over the head.
Step 5: Watch mallet break, and run like the devil's after you.
Step 6: Be chased into hidden pre-selected hidden location by certain bishounen dog youkai.
Step 7: Drop a net on certain bishounen dog youkai.
Step 8: While certain bishounen dog youkai is busy with the net, duct tape him to a chair (mindful that nothing is in meltable range of his claws)
Step 9: And ravish him!!!
Plan E contains several more steps than most plans, but he's also a bigger youkai. Take that how you want to...
For those of you who prefer the cute and cuddly there's always this plan.
Plan F
Step 1: Go back in time to the Warring States.
Step 2: Tempt small kawaii kitsune away from group with freshly baked cookies.
Step 3: Grab small kawaii kitsune and stuff him in convenient large Tupperware with air holes.
Step 4: Take him out and cuddle!
Or
Step 4b: Wait a few years until the small kawaii kitsune is a large bishounen kitsune.
Step 4c: Duct tape him to a chair and ravish him!
If a certain handsome Thunder Brother is more your style...
Plan G
Step 1: Go farther back in time to the Warring States.
Step 2: Find the Thunder Brothers.
Step 3: Tell the tall dark haired one that lighting really turns you on.
Step 4: While he's momentarily stunned by the bad pun, duct tape him to a chair and ravish him!
Or the younger brother,
Step 3b: Tell the lizard looking one that you find bald men incredibly attractive.
Step 4b: While he's momentarily stunned by the idea, duct tape him to a chair and ravish him!
Then of course, there are those who are interested in the incarnate of evil wrapped in a lily white baboon skin.
Plan H
Step 1: Go back in time to the Warring States.
Step 2: Dress up as you were in a past life.
Step 3: When incarnate of evil approaches you, smile and request to join his army.
Step 4: While he thinks over the question, hit him over the head with a rock.
Step 5: Drag incarnate of evil to pre-selected hidden location, duck tape him to a chair and ravish him!
Sorry gentlemen otaku, if you want the girls, ya gotta come up with a plan
on your own. Or adapt the plans here. *grin*
This was slightly inspired by 'Bishounen-O-Rama'
Home of the 'I Wanna Duct Tape A Bishounen To A Chair And Ravish
Him' page. Inuyasha is in it.
Fin. ^_~
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