-countless dead OZ soldiers, Gundam Wing

Quatre laughed. "You’ve got to be kidding, Trowa!"

Trowa shook his head. "I’m not. It happened just like that. I never even touched him."

The two Gundam pilots sat opposite one another at a table set up outside, enjoying some tea and assorted pastries provided by the Maguanac. It had been far too nice a day for Quatre to possibly be convinced to stay indoors, especially when he had a friend to enjoy it with.

He looked over at Trowa a bit more seriously than before. "Well, I know you keep too good track of your bullets for it to have been an accidental kill…could he have taken a particularly bad chunk of shrapnel?"

"That’s what I thought at first." Trowa put down his tea. "But I usually take that into account too to compensate for my limited munitions. There wasn’t anything nearby I intended to use that way. And then it happened again."

"Again?" Quatre looked over at him with surprise.

"Yes. Exactly the same as before. It was just some guy who saw me, not even close to my area of fire. He said it, then he blew up. If they hadn’t both been nearly a kilometer away at the time, I would have figured it for some kind of trained suicide run."

"Wait, you’re telling me that people really will blow up just because they said--"

"Quatre!"

He smiled. "Trowa, you can’t possibly be that superstitious, can you?"

Trowa looked at him seriously. "I’m not superstitious. It really happens."

Quatre pondered this for a moment. "Hey, speaking of suicide runs, isn’t Heero near here right now?"

"Yeah, he’s in that hangar just down the road."

"Well, why don’t we go ask him? I bet he’d notice something like that!"

Trowa stood up. "Good idea. I’ll prove it’s real."

Heero put his toolbox down, having finished the minor repairs on Wing he’d been working on, and walked over to the hangar’s personnel door. Once there, after one last look at his Gundam to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything, he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and read it with interest.

"Let’s see…destroy Tokyo base, check…refuel Gundam, check…take care of that annoying squeak in the left shoulder, check…set VCR to record Days Of Our Lives, check…kill Relena. Damn. I’ve got to remember to do that later. Unless…better call up Dr. J and see if killing that other annoying blonde with the meatball hairdo counts…"

There was a knock at the door. Heero quickly stuffed his to-do list back in his pocket and opened the door. Quatre and Trowa stood outside.

"Yes?"

"Heero," Quatre began, "we were wondering, have you ever--"

Trowa placed a hand on Quatre’s shoulder. "Wait, I think I have a better idea. Hey, Heero?"

"For the second time…yes?"

"Humor me and answer this, OK? What is Heavyarms?"

"It’s a Gundam."

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Without warning, Heero spontaneously exploded in a billowing cloud of fire and smoke. Oddly enough, neither Trowa nor Quatre seemed at all surprised about this.

"See? I told you it really happens."

Quatre thought for a moment. "I don’t know, Trowa…I mean, that was Heero. Remember what happened last time you came over?"

"Hmmm…"

Trowa knocked on the hangar door three times. Heero opened it.

"I guess you’re right."

"Yeah, it just doesn’t mean anything when Heero blows up."

"It was fun though, wasn’t it?"

"You bet it was! Guess that leaves us right back where we were, though."

Trowa thought for a moment. "Hey, why don’t we go talk to Duo about it? After all, with his Gundam and the way he fights, I’m sure he’s gotten people to say it before."

"Good idea!"

Together, the two pilots headed back to the Maguanac’s base to hitch a ride over to the L2 colony. Sure, it was probably going to interfere with their missions. But there were some things more important than that. Like curiosity. And the occasional music break.

The colony’s weather control chief was feeling depressed that day, which meant a heavy downpour was in effect. The streets were covered in puddles as a few scattered people walked through it, going about their business regardless of the weather.

Along one particular street walked what appeared to be a disgruntled young priest carrying groceries for a short girl in a floppy beret two sizes too big for her head with an umbrella. However, the two were in fact the Gundam pilot known and feared the world over as the God of Death and his housemate…a short girl in a floppy beret two sizes too big for her head. Guess some things have to be what they look like.

Duo grumbled as he walked through a deep puddle. "Jeez, Hildie, could ya possibly have picked a worse day to do the shopping? It’s raining cats and dogs out here!"

There was a muffled thud as Duo caught out of the corner of his eye a charred figure in bicycle shorts falling from the sky into a trash pile some distance away.

"Cats and dogs and Heeros…"

Hildie didn’t notice the exploded visitor and just smiled. "Oh, come on Duo, it’s nice to have rain every once in a while. Besides, you’re the one who drank the last of the milk."

"There was some left!"

"A thin film on the bottom doesn’t count."

Duo harrumphed and turned up his nose, muttering under his breath. "Does too."

Arriving home, Hildie unlocked the door and the two went inside. Things were pretty much as they had been when they’d left earlier, with the notable exception of two Gundam pilots in the living room they could’ve sworn weren’t there before.

Duo looked over at the new decorations quizzically. "Hey, what’re you two doin’ in my house?"

Quatre smiled and stood up. "We came by to see you, of course!"

"No, I meant what’re you doing in my house?"

Trowa deadpanned. "It was raining."

"Hey, if I came by to see you and it was raining, you think I’d just invite myself in?"

They replied simultaneously. "Yes."

Duo scratched his head. "Well, ya got me there, but people expect more outta you guys…"

Hildie swatted Duo on the shoulder and took the grocery bag from him. "Oh, come on Duo, they’re your friends, right? Nothing wrong with them coming inside from the rain. Besides, it’s my house!"

Duo turned back to his visitors, eager to ignore that little point. "Oh, guys, this is my roommate Hildie. Hildie, those are Trowa and Quatre."

Hildie looked back as she put away the groceries. "Trowa and Quatre? Duo’s told me a lot about you two!"

Duo suddenly got a very panicked look on his face and began frantically waving stopping gestures at Hildie.

She didn’t seem to notice, and continued. "I just want you to know that I am one hundred percent okay with you guys!"

Quatre looked a bit confused. "Well, that’s good…I guess…"

Trowa, glanced over at the even more frantically waving Duo, then looked at her curiously. "Okay with what, exactly?"

"Well, you know…your relationship."

Trowa and Quatre looked at each other for a moment.

"Oh, no, no, no." Quatre chuckled. "It’s not like that. We’re just friends!"

Hildie looked over at them confusedly, then smiled brightly again. "Oh, I get it! ‘Just friends,’ got it. Like Zechs and Noin’s ‘special friendship.’" She winked at the two of them.

Duo decided that it was really, really past time to move on. "Heh, yeah, well, enough with the introductions, right?" He quickly walked over to his guests with a nervous smile and herded them into chairs, then sat down himself on the couch. "Why don’t you tell me what you came here for, huh? Don’t want to keep ya waiting too long!"

Trowa glared at Hildie while Quatre explained. "It’s pretty simple, really. You see, Trowa noticed something strange in some of his battles against OZ, and we wanted to know if you could verify if it’s really happening the way he thinks it is."

"Well, I am a regular master of the battlefield, I suppose…whaddaya want to know?"

"Well…"

Trowa put a hand on Quatre’s arm. "Wait, Quatre. It’s too hard to just explain with words without…well, you know…so I’ve got a better idea."

"What?"

At that moment, Hildie walked in and sat down next to Duo on the couch, having finished putting everything away.

Something evil glinted in Trowa’s eyes. "Hildie?"

"Yes Trowa?"

"Could you please tell me what Duo’s pal Deathscythe is?"

Duo turned several shades paler.

"Of course I can. It’s a--" Whatever she was about to say next was abruptly cut off by Duo’s hand clasping tightly over her mouth.

"Hey now, Hildie, y-you’re not gonna just play along with this, are ya? I mean, he’s a circus clown, for cryin’ out loud, it’s probably just some dirty joke!"

Hildie pushed Duo’s hand off her face. "Like I’ve never heard any of those working with OZ and living with you? Besides, what could possibly be the harm in telling him that it’s a--" Once again, Duo’s hand slapped immediately over her mouth. She struggled to get it off, but this time he wasn’t letting go. The two wrestled on the couch for control of Hildie’s mouth.

Quatre grinned. "That’s never gonna work, Duo! If you want to keep her lips shut, maybe you should try countering ‘em with yours…"

Duo froze. "What!?"

Trowa joined in. "Don’t act so surprised, Duo. You’ve had your hands all over her on that couch while we’ve been here. It’s obvious she’s your girlfriend."

"Girlfriend!?"

"Yeah, and you two even live together!" Quatre added.

"It’s shameful, really." Trowa mock-lamented.

"Unless she’s actually Hildie Maxwell, that is…"

Duo was flabbergasted, enough so that Hildie was able to escape his grip. She looked over at him with extreme amusement.

"Now will you let me finish my sentence, Duo?"

"No!"

"Oh, I see…you wanna roll around on the couch some more…"

"No!"

"Then let me finish!"

"You can’t!"

"Why not?"

"Ah…it’s a secret!"

"Deathscythe?"

"Yeah!"

"But they already know about it!"

"Exactly! So we can’t let ‘em know any more! They already know too much!"

"They’re Gundam pilots, remember? And if they already know about Deathscythe, what’s the harm in telling them that it’s a--"

"HILDIE!!" Duo yelled frantically to cut her off.

Suddenly, the door slammed open. Silhouetted in the doorway was the wet, dripping, and still slightly singed Heero Yuy.

He spoke crossly as he glared at Duo. "I can hear you two from out here, and all you’re fighting about is that!? Duo, there’s not a person here that doesn’t know that it’s a Gundam!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Hildie looked with wide eyes at the scorched doorway where Heero had just spontaneously exploded.

Duo looked at Hildie seriously. "Now do ya get it?"

"You mean…if I’d said it…" Hildie didn’t blink for the next five minutes.

Quatre just shook his head, smiling. "I think that’s enough blowing people up for one day. You win, Trowa. Let’s go home."

Somewhere far, far away, Wufei was about to walk out of the secret hangar where his own beloved Gundam was stored. However, just as he put his hand on the door, he turned back around and looked up at the mobile suit.

"Yes, Nataku, I felt it too…a very strange fic just took place somewhere, and we should both be thankful we were not in it."

As he turned to go again, he heard voices from outside.

"Look at that!"

"Incredible!"

"I’ve never seen one before…"

"What is it, daddy?"

"It’s a shooting star!"

Wufei paused for a moment.

"Wait…it’s still daylight outside. And you can’t have a shooting star inside a colony!"

There was a high-pitched whistling, then a loud crash like thunder as Heero’s smoking body came smashing through the roof, smacking right into Nataku’s giant robot forehead and actually knocking the suit off-balance, causing it to crash into the nearest wall. Enraged, Wufei ran over to where Heero had landed and lifted him by the front of his shirt.

"You fool! I just finished waxing and buffing Nataku!"

Heero’s eyes wandered of their own accord as his head lolled about, still dazed from the explosion. "Nata-who?"

"Nataku! My Gundam!"

"Your flotsam?"

"What are you talking about? My Gundam!"

"Glazed ham?"

"NO! Nataku is not flotsam or glazed ham! IT’S A GUNDAM!"

Wufei blinked.

"Oh, crap."

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!