Stuck in OZ

(odd thing, playing on this whole 'OZ' name...)
Zechs: We've captured the Gundam Pilots. All 5 of them.
Treize: Excellent. Bring them to the theatre, my friend.
Zechs: Theatre?
Treize: What? Do you honestly belive normal torture techniques will work?
Zechs: ....
[later]
Duo: -TWIN- braids?!?! And why am I in a dress?!
Wu Fei: I'm in a handbasket... A large handbasket...
Quatre: Wu Fei! You're dressed like a dog!!
Trowa: .... [Translation: I am -not- a cowardly lion.]
Heero: .... [Translation: What am I doing dressed like a mech?]
Duo: What have you been doing, Quatre? You're covered in straw!
Quatre: It itches... Heero, why are you dressed like the Tin Man?
Treize [startling all of them]: Welcome to the Gundam Pilots version of 'The Wizard of Oz!'
Pilots: WHAT?!?!?
Zechs [looking slightly embarrassed]: Just... go along with it.
Trieze: I could always let Lady Une have her way way with you.
[Lady Une grinned, fondling a riding crop in her hand, a glint in her eyes. The boys gulp.]
Pilots [singing off key]: We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz....
Treize [smirks]: If they think they're embarrased now, just wait until they meet up with the Munchkins. Those OompaLoompa's of Dr. J's came in handy after all.

Duo: "How come -I- gotta do Dorothy!?" 
Dorothy: "Did someone call for me?" 
Duo: "EEYYAAAAHHH!!! QUESTION WITHDRAWN! QUESTION WITHDRAWN!" 

Trowa: "This casting is terrible, treize. I mean, Heero might need a heart, and Quatre -could- stand to think with his head a litle more, and maybe Duo -is- a little fem--" 
Duo: "AM NOT!" 
Trowa: "--but I'm -hardly- in need of courage." 
Quatre: [smirking] "No brain, eh...? Hey, Trowa, look! A CLOWN!" 
Trowa: "EEEEEEEK!" [jumps into Quatre's arms, terrified] 
Heero: "Wait...isn't HE a clown?" 
Quatre: [whispering] "SSSHHHHHHH!!! It took me WEEKS to get him calm last time he realized that..." 

Quatre: "Well, look at it this way, guys. Sure, it's humiliating, degrading, and downright silly, but at least they can't possibly make things any worse!" 
Dr.J: [descending from the rafters in fairy wings] "Are you a good soldier, or a bad soldier?" 
Heero: "Nice going, brainless. NEVER tempt him..." 

Duo: "Alright, we finally defeated the wicked witch and finished the damn story! Now HOW DO WE END THIS HELL!?" 
Treize: "Why, you've had the ability to do that the entire time. All you have to do is click your heels three times and say, 'There's no place like I-am-an-obedient-OZ-soldier-and-will-fight-for-them-and-divulge-all-secrets." 
Noin: [whispering] "Not very subtle, is he?" 
Zechs: [whispering] "After what he's just put them through, he doesn't HAVE to be..." 
Duo: "Obvious...trick...but end of play...so...tempting..." 
Quatre: "Fight it, Duo!" 
Treize: "Oh look, here come the munchkins again...looks like the play's going to start all over again..." 
Duo: o_O "..." 
Heero: "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! GIVE ME THE DAMN RUBY SLIPPERS!!!" [attacks Duo's feet] 
Quatre: "Heero, NO!" [tries to wrestle Heero away] 
Wufei: "...five yellow bricks on Heero." 
Trowa: "I'll take that bet." 

Wu Fei: I'm in a handbasket.
Quatre: Sorry, Wu Fei. It's in the script.
Wu Fei: I'm in hell...

Dorothy: Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!!!
Zechs: -She's- the Wicked Witch of the West?!? Aren't you worried that they may harm her?
Noin [mutters]: It's that type-casting?
Duo: We gotta defeat -her-?!? Ye-ah! Payback!!!
Heero: Mission Accepted. Cheerfully.
Trowa & Wu Fei: [smirk]
Treize: Not to worry, my friends. Their moral center should be kicking in right about now.
Quatre: It's in the script! Get 'er!!!
Duo: WHOOOOOOOOOooo!!!
Treize: Or not....

Une: One of those pilots looks familiar...
[Trowa sweatdrops and attempts to hide behind Quatre]
Une: Yes... You! With the brown hair!!!
[Duo and Heero exchange looks. Trowa attempts to look smaller.]
Une: No, the short hair and the bangs! You wouldn't happen to be related to that news caster on channel 14, would you?
[Trowa sweatdrops]

[Noin slips in and hands Zechs a Root Beer float. ]
Zechs: Thank you.
[Zechs sips his float, getting rather vocal in his appreation of it]
Duo: Just what are they doing up there?
Heero: I don't want to know...

Une: I don't think this is working, Treize-sama.
Treize: Paitence. They are getting ready to crack as we speak. [stand up and raises his voice] Send in the Queen!!!
[All the pilots look at Duo. Duo pushes down the skirt, turning slightly red]
Duo: NOT me!!!
OompaLoompas [chattering in awe]: It's the Queen! All hail the Queen!!!
Heero: ... [Translation: Not Relena, please. Spare someone from this torture...]
OompaLoompa Queen: Lookit the cutie-wooties!!! I could just eat you up!! I wanna hug you and kiss you and hug you and dress you up and take you home with meeeee!!!
Duo: It's ELMYRA!!! RUN!!!!
G-Boys: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trowa: .... [Translation: I think I know a way to get us out of here]
Duo [hisses]: Why didn't you say that BEFORE?!?!
Quatre: If it gets us out of here, I wouldn't ask, Duo.
Wu Fei: Right. Do it.
Trowa [Yells off stage]: Catherine! Treize said that your new costume makes your rear look large!!!
[Quatre and Wu Fei start looking for places to hide]: Uh-oh...
Heero: How's that supposed to help? 
[Trowa's sister comes storming into the theatre with a glowing battle aura and an unlimited supply of throwing knives.]
Treize [suddenly very flustered as a throwing knive barely misses his leg]: Uh, no! I-I said that you were rai-iiieeeee!! [throwing knive grazes him] 
Une: I would suggest you run, sir.
[Treize takes off running. The GW boys also make a run for it as well]