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The Grey Zone: Mid-West Snippets II
by Icka! M. Chif

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"Where are we now?" Kaito yawned and stretched, then hastily fixed his wig. Gods, it felt good to get off the bus and move around for a minute.

Saguru ran a hand over his hair, wincing at the gel in it. "Someplace called South Park. We're still in Colorado."

"Ah." He paused in mid-stretch, luxuriating in the feeling of some of his bones and tendons finally sliding into alignment again as he watched some grade school kids, bundled up in winter clothes cross the street. "Seems like a quiet place." At least the bus depot was a lot quieter than some of the other places they'd visited.

Then a car ploughed through one of the kids, leaving him laying there in a pile of mangled orange fabric and blood.

"Oh my god!" One of the kids screamed. "You killed Kenny! You Bastards!!!"

"Oh, give it a fuckin' rest." The largest kid of the group snarled as the rest of them continued on their way without any apparent shock at the indent.

"Yeah, Kyle." The other member agreed as first kid joined him. "It's like, what? The third time this week? Give it a rest already."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

The kids wandered off.

Kaito and Saguru stared.

Kaito dropped his arms, nudging Saguru. "Hey. Aren't you-?" Dead body. Detective thing.

Saguru shook himself out of his slight stupor, closing his mouth. "No." He decided as a dog wandered up and sniffed the carcass. "I don't think I will. I'll be on the bus if you need me." And with that, he turned and got back on the bus.

Kaito glanced at the dead body again, now being dragged of by the dog. No screaming and the people around acted as if it was normal. He shivered and got back on the bus.

This place was -creepy-.

+++

"Where are we going NOW?" Kaito groaned as he peered out from under his arm, which he had slung over his eyes to block the light. The bus jolted him from side to side as it travelled down the road, occasionally jostling him into Saguru.

"Not sure yet." Saguru commented blandly. He looked tired too.

"Just so long as the people look reasonably normal this time." Kaito groused, sliding his arm back down and covering his vision. "If I see another duck..."

"I would have thought you would have liked that Darkwing character in St. Canard." Saguru commented mildly. "Same fashion sense."

"Oh ha bloody ha." He had to stop saying that. Britian had not been good for his speach pattersn. "Did you see his gun? And the opening speach? And what was up with 'Suck Gas, Evildoers'?"

"Or the pilot and the two small children that followed him around." Although the term 'pilot' was used loosely in this case.

"I just wondered where he got all that gas from." Kaito shifted in his seat, trying to keep his legs from fallling asleep. "Eat a lot of beans? And besides, he had a cape."

"No capes." Saguru agreed.

"No capes." Kaito paused. "Well, except Kid's. But that's actually a hangglider, so it doesn't count."

Saguru wisely changed the subject. They'd had that arguement many times before. "So what about that hero in Duckburg?"

"He was more obnixious than the Darkwing guy." Kaito muttered.

"You're just mad that when he got flustered and starting pushing his buttons and randomly began throwing fish." There was just a touch of smugness in Saguru's tone.

Kaito swung the hand that wasn't covering his face out, smacking Saguru in the chest. The blond chuckled. "But yes, the posturing and blathering was rather annoying. What was his name again? Roboduck?"

"Gizmoduck." Kaito supplied. "Guards Scrooge McDuck's money bin. He's the Wealthiest Duck in the World."

"Don't tell me you-"

"No."

"Good."

They lapsed into silence again. "Ducks?" Saguru questioned, as if he couldn't quite believe it himself.

"Whole towns of them." Kaito agreed. "Where are we going now?"

There was some rustling as Saguru pulled a map out of his pocket and looked at it. "Mouseton."

Kaito lifted his arm up again to peer at Saguru. "You're kidding."

"Nope." Saguru put the map back in his pocket. "We're stopping at Spoonerville first."

"Spoonerville?"

The bus rumbled to a stop, the bus driver shouting for Spoonerville.

Yup. Spoonerville.

Just so long as it was anything but ducks. Not that he had anything against ducks. It was just kinda creepy to be like giant ape-faced creatures surrounded by cities filled with ducks. Even if they were friendly ducks. Mostly, anyway.

"C'mon, Maxie!" A cheerful called, voice cracking slightly on the last syllable. "We're gonna be late for Mickey's picnic! A-Hyuck!"

"Coming Dad." A much younger voice called. "Of all the days for the car to break down..."

"Dogs?" Saguru mused out loud. "Beagles?"

Kaito firmly put his arm back over his eyes. "I'm not looking, I'm not looking, I'm not looking..."

Well, at least it wasn't ducks.

+++

If he wanted to be honest --and really, where was the fun in that?-- Kaito started it. There was only so much 'safe' conversation that could be tolerated before you could start to feel your brain dribble out of your ears in rotten oozing green masses.

Without consulting the other, they had each gotten a chocolate bar from what passed as the local convenience stores and smuggled it on to the bus. After the ride had started they'd each casually handed the other the sweet, only to be pleasantly surprised to receive one in return.

For two guys on the run, that had actually been pretty impressive of themselves.

After some quiet snickering and eating of said chocolate bars, the debate had started.

"I think I should get two chocolates." He commented in Japanese. Partly to hear his native language again --Americans had different accents and dialects depending on where they went, but in general it was a more staccato sound than the British he'd gotten used to-- partly for security reasons. They were dressed as Japanese students currently anyway.

One of Saguru's eyebrows had almost touched his hairline. "-Two- chocolates?"

"One for me, one for my other half." He announced loftily.

Saguru frowned, peering at him suspiciously. Except for a slight twitching of his lips, Kaito had kept a pretty straight face. "In that case..." Saguru said slowly. "I should get two chocolates too. One from each half."

"You did." Kaito pointed to the chocolate wrapper that was the remains of Saguru's chocolate. "It came in two pieces."

The former blond pulled out the wrapper and held it up, like he was holding a snake by the tail about to bite him at any moment. "That doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"It has coconut in it." Saguru pointed under the word 'Mounds' on the red and white wrapper to where it said 'coconut'. "Therefore it doesn't count as Valentine's Day chocolate."

It was Kaito's turn to look sceptical. "Since when does coconut have anything to do with it?" At least he hadn't gotten the one with the nuts in it.

He got a smug smirk in return. "Coconut's White. So it's for White Day."

Okay, so the detective had a point. "But there's chocolate. So it's for Valentine's Day." He'd chosen it because it had dark chocolate, unlike the rest of the chocolate bars at the store. "Would you prefer if I had gotten you the one with nuts?"

Saguru given him a sour look. The former blond was mildly allergic to nuts. Hence, the comment.

"So you still got two pieces of chocolate and I only got one." Kaito continued. Still, his had been a solid chocolate bar. Not quite as creamy as the Meiji chocolate bars back home, but still, chocolate was chocolate.

"Do you want to check the weights and see if they're equal too?" Saguru snarked. The tone might have been bitter sounding, but his expression was amused.

Kaito grinned back, warming up to the friendly dispute.

It was St. Valentine's Day and they were arguing about chocolate.

No flowers, red hearts and soppy romance for Valentine's Day for them, thanks. They'd continue on as they had began.

+++

Kaito stretched as they got off the bus, making a surreptitious glance around the bus depot. Both he and Saguru were tired, stiff and sore from travelling on the bus for hours. Fortunately, so was everyone else, so they fit in perfectly.

Next stop, a nice hotel room and hopefully a good night's sleep.

"Keystone City." Saguru read a pamphlet that had been floating around, one of those supposedly informative ones that most cities had, stating the big attractions in hopes of drumming some tourist business. "Home of the Flash and the Flash Museum."

Kaito snorted. "They celebrate their streakers here?"

Wooooosh! A red blur passed by them, the breeze that followed blowing stray papers around, flipping skirts up and knocking hats off of people's heads.

Kid pulled his white cape off of his head and blinked, watching his silk hat merrily bounce down the street.

Saguru blinked. Kid blinked. Everyone else when on with their business.

Woooooosh! A red and white blur stopped in front of them, forming into a lanky young teen in red and white spandex and the wildest mop of brown hair he'd ever seen. The teen grinned, holding Kid's white top hat out to him. "Hereyago,youdroppedyourhat."

Wooooosh! The boy was gone again, moving faster than the speed of sight.

Kaito blinked again, dressed again in his normal clothing, backpack over his shoulder.

"-Now opening the Impulse Wing." Saguru continued reading the pamphlet.

Kaito scratched his head, then shrugged. "No capes." He offered gamely.

Saguru gave him a dry look before turning around and walking away. "How soon before the next bus leaving for -anywhere-?"

+++

There were various advantages of buses over trains and trains over buses.

The buses made frequent breaks at truck stops, where you could rent a shower and catch a meal. Quite a few of the drivers seemed to love their job, telling stories and on one instance, the driver with a lovely Mississippi accent taught them trucker's lingo. Just simple things, but you never knew when the strangest things could come in handy. And the buses tended to be on time, therefore faster. Unless there was a new driver who got lost.

Trains couldn't get lost nearly as easily, but were often having to pull over to allow for the freight trains to go by so therefore did not adhere to any sort of schedule. On the up side, you could stand up and walk around on a train, or hang out in the observation lounge and talk with people. Especially the old guys who tended to be train freaks. Or occasionally catch an over priced snack in the lounge or a meal in the dining car.

The walking around was a bonus for Kaito, who didn't like enclosed places. Saguru had once commented after Kaito had managed to rope some kids into cheer-leading routines that if he was that eager to burn off calories, he should try beating his head against the wall, it burned one hundred and twenty calories per hour. Maybe more if he was really active.

Kaito wanted to know how Saguru knew that. And who thought of finding out how many calories an hour it burned. Or how they tested it and what was the size of the pain killer the test subject needed afterwards. Saguru had merely smirked back and gone back to his book.

Saguru read a lot of books. It was funny, how it seemed like all they did was sit around and eat, and yet he was always tired and hungry. Saguru said it was a factor of things, their bodies constantly adjusting their balance to moving at high speeds and their brains having to deal with a constant influx of new information.

Kaito thought Saguru was full of it and it was the sheer boredom.

On the other hand, with the bus drivers, they tended not to put up with loud riotous music. The American train conductors, for the most part, appeared not to give a flying flip about most things that went on. Such as the current musical duel between the hip hopper on one end of the train car with his bitches, hos and sexy mamas and the heavy metal guy on the other end of the car with his loud indecipherable emo wailing.

And there was a baby wailing.

Kaito didn't blame the baby. Next to him, Saguru was making little wincing noises while he rubbed his eyes. The half-briton was looking like he had an eyestrain headache. Kaito glanced around.

"One... Two... Three." He whispered quietly.

The entire train car went dim for a moment, then the dim lights went out again. Except for the thin high wail of the baby, silence descended. Wails came from the owners of instruments of musical torture. Several people stirred and someone clapped a few times.

"And the baby?" Saguru whispered back, looking amused.

He'd heard the infant's parents trying to quiet their noisy child. It wasn't hungry or needing a nappy change, which meant that it probably would quiet down now that its eardrums weren't being assaulted. "I'm a Magician, not a Miracle Worker." Kaito grumbled back, settling down to try to get some sleep.

+++

"'Guru?" Kaito mumbled as Saguru shook him awake. He could feel the train slowing down around them.

"Come on." Saguru pulled their bags from the overhead bin. "Let's go."

"Huh?" Kaito glanced around him. People were already gathering bags and lining up to disembark the train. He scratched his head, stretched and joined Saguru. He'd primarily switched over to a nocturnal existence, sleeping during the day when Saguru was awake, then staying awake while Saguru slept. But it meant that it took a little while to adjust when woken up unless it was an emergency.

They trudged in line down the small stairs, then into the bright outside. Kaito grimaced and put on a pair of sunglasses. "Where are we?" He questioned. The tickets they had went to Los Angeles.

"Tucson, Arizona. I have a friend here who's invited us to crash on her futon for a few days." Saguru said, pulling out his own pair of sunglasses and putting them on. "Met her via on a Mystery internet community. I already gave her a call before the train stopped, look for a short bouncing red-headed woman."

"'Kay." Kaito yawned. "What's her name?"

"Ysabet."

+++ Fin +++

Please don't kill me for the last part, had that in mind for -ages-. It's a bit of an in-joke, since I wouldn't have met her, or many of my friends if it hadn't been for the Detective Conan fandom.

-If you don't know who Ysabet is, head over to her site and read the Windfall series. You won't be sorry.

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