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The Grey Zone: Chicago
by Icka! M. Chif
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And in the background was a Giant Twinkie.
It was bright yellow, about fifty feet high, wearing a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, gloves and a blue bandana covered in red hearts under it's smiling face as it walked down Diversey Avenue.
The hat proclaimed that the giant walking snack food was 'Twinkie the Kid'. Kaito's inner Kid took offence to this, but was slightly distracted from the rampaging sponge cake by a group of men in black suits chasing after them. And since the men in suits were -not- carrying briefcases unlike the office workers attempting to get to work on time, this was a bad thing.
Especially considering that they'd been in Chicago for less than two hours, having just stepped off the bus from the airport. Obviously their fake aliases of 'Raymond de Saint-Veran' and 'Roberta Goodfellow' had already been discovered. And somehow, he doubted it was the fault of Artemis Fowl, the criminal mastermind he'd gotten them from.
Which meant that some how, the Black Organisation had already found a way to track them.
Or it was sheer dumb luck.
Somehow he doubted that. Especially since the men in black --he had to find a better name for the annoying prats-- were moving in what was obviously a pincher move, cutting off all exit routes from the alley he and Saguru had ducked down to avoid the men in black suits who had paused in the middle of the street rather then being crushed by the Giant Twinkie's booted heel.
"Any ideas?" Saguru breathed in his ear, the blond staying as close to him as possible.
"A few." Kid glanced up at the fire escapes above them. He could scramble up there, but Saguru was slower, they'd be obvious targets for the gajin with guns. He really needed to give Saguru a few more thieving lessons, it would come in SO handy during times like this.
A bullet whizzed passed their heads, striking the wall. Distraction. They needed a distraction. Kid was a good distraction, but Saguru wasn't.
A plan quickly formed and he realised that A: Saguru was NOT going to like it, B: there was no time to explain it to the detective properly so that Saguru -might- like it enough to go along with it and C: Saguru was REALLY not going to like it and Kid would be lucky if Saguru didn't use Kid's guts for garters afterwards, what ever that meant. But it sounded gruesome.
"Okay. Got one." Kid announced, his tone overly bright for facing certain painful doom in a number of levels and by a variety of different people. "Hold on to me."
Saguru immediately did as requested, even though it meant stopping their run, with a trust that would melt Kid's heart under other circumstances. As it was, he tossed down a smoke bomb, white smoke filling the alley and hiding them from view.
It would only last a few seconds, but a few seconds was enough to carry out the next bit. "You can kill me later." He murmured as he pressed a handkerchief laced with sleeping gas on it to the blond's face, Saguru's eyes going wide as he struggled against it for a moment before going limp in Kid's arms.
He quickly hid Saguru and their duffle bags in some flattened cardboard boxes, thankfully still dry unlike the slush that coated most of the city, then pulled a dummy hang glider from his back, unfolded it with a snap of his wrist and tossed it into the air. The small motor would get it above building level and keep it flying for a while.
With Saguru safely hidden and not likely to cause any valiant self-sacrificing trouble this time, he quickly changed outfits... into Hakuba Saguru, complete with trademark suit and inverness coat. He did a quick check as the smoke thinned out, then dashed down a side alley.
-and right into a large, bright red object. "Geh." He stumbled back a step, only to be steadied by a firm hand on his elbow.
"Are you all right?" A crisp voice asked. It was accented slightly differently than the local accent they'd heard since getting off the plane at O'Hare International Airport.
"M'Fine." He assured the person, one hand on his nose check to make sure that the disguise hadn't broken as well as for bruising. He paused, realising that the person holding him was a Mountie. As in from Canada. Funny pants, red jacket, wide brim hat and all. "Thank you. Um."
.... What was a Mountie doing in Chicago!?
In the back of his mind, he had visions of Mounties singing "I'm a Lumberjack and I'm Okay".
"Yeah, he gets that a lot." A nasally voice drawled. The Mountie released his grip on Kid's arm to smile slightly at the lanky blond haired man who came up beside him, flashing a badge. "Detective Ray Vecchio, Chicago PD. This is my partner-"
"-Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police." The Mountie introduced himself and offered Kid his hand to shake, which Kid did. "I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father-"
"-And for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture he's remained, attached as lesbian with the Canadian Consulate." Detective Vecchio drawled sounding like he'd heard this spiel a thousand times.
"Really?" Kid asked, raising an eyebrow as he gave the Mountie a look over. The Constable certainly didn't -look- like a lesbian...
"Ah." The Mountie tugged on an ear in what looked like a nervous tick. "I believe you mean 'Liaison', Ray."
"Isn't that what I said?" Detective Vecchio demanded hotly. "Anyway. Got reports of a disturbance in the area. You see anything, kid?"
"Quite a few things." Kid said dryly, smiling faintly. "Which one might you be referring to? The giant walking confectionary or the men with the guns?"
"The last one." Detective Vecchio gave him a dirty look for being a snarky bastard. Kid smiled back.
"Now, Ray. There have been quite a few phone calls..." The Mountie soothed.
"No, Frase. I am -not- gonna investigate someone's mass hallucination. Now if it was a Giant Rubber Duck or something believable, maybe-"
The rant got cut off by the retort of gunfire. All three men crouched down, immediately looking for cover. Kid hoped to all the Seven Lucky Gods that the shots weren't because they had found Saguru.
"Okay, ya see anything that has to do with the guys shooting at us?" Detective Vecchio snapped as they were joined by a large white dog.
"Yes." Kid said briskly. "I believe they're shooting at me."
Detective Vecchio shot him a glare. "And you couldn't have told us sooner!?"
Kid shrugged. "It was distracting welcome to Chicago." Giant Twinkies, Guns, Mounties. They all flinched as a bullet whizzed over head.
Detective Vecchio muttered several uncomplimentary things under his breath. "Ready, Frase?"
"Ready when you are, Ray." The Mountie nodded back. "Deif, stay."
The dog grumbled a response, but sat down next to the car.
"Right. You-" Detective Vecchio glared at Kid. "-Stay here. Frase, on the count of three."
"THREE!" Both men yelled, moving forward.
"CHICAGO PD. PUT YOUR GUNS DOWN NOW!!!"
Kid watched with a bit of awe as the two men moved in complete synch with each other, approaching the men in black. Kid could hear the hitmen's footsteps run off, feeing from the police.
"OI! ASSWIPE! I SAID FREEZE! DON'T -MAKE- ME KICK YOU IN THE HEAD!!!"
Kid knew they wouldn't catch the men in black, but the effort was appreciated. He debated slipping off while they were gone, but Saguru wouldn't run off. Saguru would run -towards- the danger, like the moron he was. The dog looked at him, making a low whinging sound in his throat, as if to advise him not to attempt to run. Because if he ran, the dog would have to chase.
And Kid got the feeling that having a dog chase him instead of a person would be a lot harder to shake off.
He sighed, leaning against the car. The dog walked over and sat next to him, as if saying he was a good boy. Kid wrinkled his nose back, grumbling quietly. The dog snickered. This was why Kid was more of a cat person. Cats bloody well didn't care what everyone else did.
The Mountie and the Detective eventually returned, the scruffy blond muttering dark things about stupid people. "They got away?" Kid said blandly in Saguru's dulcet tones.
He got a dirty look in return for that. "Cute, smart mouth." Detective Vecchio snarked.
"Ah, perhaps it might be worthwhile to have this young man come back with us to the station and peruse the mug book in the hopes of identifying the gentlemen who were firing on us?" The Mountie suggested, his expression the epitome of helpful innocence.
No, he had to go... brush his teeth or something equally important. Police stations were -bad-. That's where the cops were.
"Excellent idea, Fraser my friend." Detective Vecchio grinned, rubbing his hands together. "What did you say your name was?"
Crap. The dog made a slight snickering sound. Stupid dog. "Hakuba." Kid deadpanned. Just how he wanted to spend his afternoon, scanning mug shots for people who were trying to kill him. "Saguru Hakuba at your service. Pleased to meet you."
"Oh, no." Detective Vecchio grinned as he pulled Kid towards the car they were standing beside. It was -not- a regular black and white, Kid noted with some amusement. This car was someone's -baby-. "The pleasure's all ours. After all, I just -love- getting shot at. It just brightens my whole day."
"Really, Ray?" The Mountie followed, a slight quizzical expression on his face. "I was under the impression that a imbalanced meal of sugar, caffeine and carbohydrates brightened your day."
The Detective made a rude gesture at the Mountie, then motioned Kid into the back seat.
Next to the dog.
The dog grinned.
Kid growled back, then got in the damn car.
"Look out." The detective offered with a slight smirk. "He likes to lick ears."
Joy.
+++
They introduced him to a lovely young woman named 'Franny' at the station, who sat him down to do exactly what Detective Vecchio had threatened, spend several hours flipping through books of mug shots. Franny was not an unattractive woman, a bit ferocious in her man hunting, especially towards the Mountie. Who seemed rather uncomfortable under the scrutiny and disappeared with Detective Vecchio into a local closet.
Kid was distracted from this by being offered a cup of coffee and a donut. He would have killed for a coffee right about then, except Saguru preferred tea, so he'd requested that instead. He'd gotten some sort of sludge that tasted like something they'd scraped off the floor and filtered. He smiled politely anyway and thanked Frannie, who swooned and cooed over his polite British manners.
Fortunately, she did have some legitimate work to do as a Police Assistant and eventually wandered off, leaving him alone at Detective Vecchio's desk. He flipped through the books and managed to spot one of the people who had been shooting at them. He bookmarked that page and kept flipping.
Eventually, people got used to him sitting there and he felt safe enough to relax slightly. And to do something sneaky.
"Ready, Hirokini-kun?" He whispered, touching the hidden cuff under the latex mask. The earring camera wasn't useable while wearing this disguise, so he made do with what he could.
"Ready, Kid-niichan." Hirokini whispered back, voice soft despite the fact that no one else could hear him. Kid casually 'accidentally' knocked a pen off the messy desk on to the floor. "Oops." He slipped out of the chair and crawled under the desk.
The dog was there, waiting for him. The dog opened his mouth, pink tongue lolling out as if to say 'nice try'. Crap.
"I'll give you the remains of my doughnut." Kid whispered.
The dog thought about it for a moment, then put his head back down, feigning sleep. Kid took that as the dog was therefore going to ignore his actions, as long as he got his treat. He pulled out a USB flashdrive that contained a copy of Hirokini's program out of his pocket and plugged it into the computer. Hirokini could have probably hacked into the system sooner or later, but if they put Hirokini at the source, the AI could access the files easier, then worm his way out and combine with the rest of himself on the net, like a Trojan virus.
In his ear, Hirokini made various soft whirring sounds. Hirokini didn't need to make the noise, but it was a reassuring sound, that everything was working well. It made him just a bit nostalgic for Japan as well, late nights at the Hakuba Laboratory. He sat back up on the chair, flipping through the mug book again, as if he'd just dropped his pen. A second 'accidental' movement with his elbow dropped the remains of his doughnut to the ground, where the dog quickly snapped it up.
Dog teeth next to his ankle. Ugh. He tucked his ankles under the chair legs.
Hirokini's noises stopped suddenly, replaced by a high-pitched squeal. Kid grimaced, clutching his ear. "Hirokini-kun?" He whispered. "You there? Everything all right?"
"There's... another..." Static gibberish filled his ear, causing him to wince again. "... Me...." The noises stopped.
"Hirokini-kun?" Kid hissed, alarm gripping him. "Hirokini-kun?!"
The speaker was dead for several heart pounding moments, then it came back to life with a faint crackle. "Hirokini-kun?"
"I..." Hirokini's voice was slightly garbled, lower than normal and strangely electronic sounding. "I'm fine. Everything is just fine."
Kid let out a small sigh of relief. "Don't worry me like that."
"... Sorry..."
"As long as you're okay." Kid flipped a page and went silent as the Detective and the Mountie made their reappearance, talking animatedly about Rugby versus Football. Kid assumed they meant American Football and not Soccer and tuned out the the conversation, glancing at the clock on the wall and mentally groaned at the amount of time that had passed.
The sleeping gas usually worked for a maximum of a half hour. Saguru had been hit with it a few times before, his body should have started becoming accustomed to it, so maybe a little bit less for him. He hoped the police presence had scared the bad guys away from where he'd hid Saguru and they hadn't found the detective.
He reported the one person who looked familiar to Vecchio and the Mountie. The person had gangster connections, but no obvious ties to the men in black, as far as Kid could figure from the comments he overheard from the officers.
Hirokini continued to make strange sounds in his ear as he flipped through the books, which didn't ease his concern any. The A.I. wasn't mentioning anything about how Saguru was doing, which he was uncertain if that was a good sign or a bad sign. And with the Mountie, the Detective and Frannie hovering around him, he didn't dare ask.
At least not until a disturbance at the front door drew everyone available in that direction to help. Some officers were attempting to escort several men on high stilts into the station for booking. The men refused to come down from their tall, attention grabbing props. Which might not have been such a problem it it weren't for the kilts they were wearing.
Several of the kilt-wearing stilt walking men were going regimental.
There was a lot of screaming over this, the shouts of horror from many of the male officers not quite covered up by the cat-calls from the females.
Kid decided he probably wasn't going to find a better distraction and that was his cue to leave. A quick dive under the desk to retrieve the flashdrive revealed it to be in the dog's mouth, who guiltily spat it out. Kid thanked him for the small courtesy and quickly fled to the stairs with a mixed sense of urgency and profound relief.
Walking out on to the rooftop was a breath of fresh air, quite literally. Okay, so it a bit on the smoggy side, but so were most cities. But after being stuck in a -Police- Station of all things, he could be in a sewer and it'd be a breath of fresh air.
... not that he had experience in sewers, of course.
"Hirokini-kun." He tapped the earcuff. "Report."
He got an earful of static in response. Bugger.
"Leaving so soon?" A voice drawled. He turned around to find that some how the Mountie and Detective Vecchio had somehow managed to beat him to the rooftop. Considering that he had seen them moving towards the front doors and not the stairs, this was an admirable feat. Mountie Magic, perhaps? He seemed like that sort of type.
"Just catching a breath of fresh air." He smiled, Saguru's polite grin for company he didn't really care all that much for, but wasn't going to say that.
"S'funny." Vecchio commented. "Most people I know don't stand on the building's -edge- to catch a breath of fresh air. "
"Not unless they're about to fly off." The Mountie agreed blandly. "Are we correct, Mr. Kaitou Kid?"
Kid paused for a moment, mentally reviewing where he might have slipped up.
"The pocket watch." The Mountie said. "Or lack of one, actuallly. A quick check on 'Saguru Hakuba' revealed that he was usually found chasing the International Jewel Thief, the Kaitou Kid as well as the fact that he has a habit of carrying a pocket watch around with him. His fan club site was most informatitve."
And Kid had checked the clock on the wall to find out what time it was. "I shall have to inform him of this the next time our paths cross." He commented dryly, tossing down a small smoke bomb and dropping the Saguru Disguise, standing there in his trademark white outfit. He was going to have to change anyway, it was just sooner rather than later.
"Oh, shit." Detective Vecchio scrambled for his gun, to be stopped by his partner. He looked both surprised by Kid's 'appearance' and the Mountie's actions. "You're under arrest- Fraser, y'mind?"
"On what charges, Ray?" The Mountie raised an eyebrow. "Impersonating a private inspector's appearance is not a legal offence, nor has he actually stolen anything. And I believe that this gentleman here is much too young to have been the perpetrator of the jewel robberies done in the Kaitou Kid's name over a decade ago and you cannot arrest a man for a robbery he did not commit."
... The Mountie was good, he had to grant him that. No one else had bothered to notice that.
"Yeah? Then what the hell is he doing in Chicago?!" Detective Vecchio demanded stubbornly.
"To paraphrase our friend here, I first became the Kaitou Kid to seek out the killers of my father." Kid grinned. "And for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, the same people are currently attempting to kill both myself and the good detective."
"You discovered the jewel your father was looking for." The Mountie deducted. "Hence your recent cessation from jewel heists."
Okay, now that was starting to get a little creepy. If he stayed around too much longer the man in the red suit would probably soon tell him what his own name, favourite sandwich and style of underwear he wore. "Does that ever get annoying?" He asked Detective Vecchio.
"All the time." Vecchio grumbled, putting his gun back. The Mountie looked miffed. Kid nodded.
"I'm afraid, gentlemen, that it is my cue to leave." He bowed. "With luck, I will have a rather annoyed detective waiting to strangle me and I don't wish to disappoint him."
"Best of luck with that." Detective Vecchio gave him a sarcastic half wave. "Step outta line in my city and we'll be the first ta arrest ya."
"I'll keep that in mind." He agreed, flipping backwards off the building. There was a brief dizzying moment of free fall, then he hit the button for the hang-glider. It snapped open, catching a thermal off the street below and sending him soaring up into the sky. He waved to the Mountie and the Detective, who where watching him below before moving towards some of the sky scrapers to hide his flight path in.
Chicago wasn't called 'The Windy City' for nothing and he made good time. If it weren't for the fact that it was daylight and he increased his chances of attracting a great amount of unwanted attention, it would have been a nice day for a scenic tour of the city.
Although the Giant Twinkie was still walking around, doing battle with some glowing beams. And honestly, he would think that would be a bigger attraction than a retired jewel thief wearing the wrong coloured clothing at night.
He took a roundabout route, changed disguises into a punkish teenage girl and made his way back towards the alley that he'd hidden Saguru in. He found a gentleman reading a newspaper with a weird headline on it and a blind lady with a large german shepherd in the alley he thought they had originally ducked down, but no dumpster.
The dumpster, with non-bullet ridden cardboard was in the next alley, minus Saguru.
He breathed a hearty sigh of relief at that. Their duffels were gone as well, so he could surmise that Saguru was awake and moving around. If they had killed Saguru and taken his body, it was unlikely that they'd take the duffels as well.
Unless it was to look through them for evidence of where he had gone, but he didn't think so. The goons in black tended not to be quite that particular.
He wandered off, changed disguises, took a few random buses, changed disguises, took some not so random buses, changed disguises again and attempted to find the place that he thought Saguru was most likely to go.
And nearly got run over by a girl wearing what appeared to be football armour and waving a bright orange smoking disk thing. "I don't know how long we got containment on this thing!" She was shouting back towards the Hispanic guy on her heels.
"Man, can't we take the plane back?" The guy whinged, lugging a heavy looking backpack with a sort of vacuum attachment to it. "It's gonna take -hours- to drive back to New York!"
"I told you." A teenager in a jump-suit and carrying a similar strange backpack snapped back. "The packs contain radioactive elements and ever since nine-"
"Yeah, yeah, 'busting equipment isn't allowed on the plane." The Hispanic guy muttered. What ever else he might have said was cut off by a guy in a wheelchair, also in a jump-suit and the same backpack.
"'Scuse me, pardon me, hot stuff comin' through, make way, Ghostbusters coming through..." He shouted happily, looking like he loved what ever they were doing. "And quit your belly-aching, Edwina!"
"Blow me, Garrett!"
"Guys-"
The motley crew vanished off into the distance, shouting at each other the entire way. Kid watched them go, feeling slightly bemused.
America was weird.
He found the right door and knocked on it, keeping a weather eye out for any more strange happenings. After a moment, the door opened, revealing a man in a black business suit and a dark trenchcoat.
Kid stepped backwards, giving himself some room to move. "Thanks again, Mr. Mogi." The man was saying behind him. A red headed woman in a dark suit followed him, putting on her jacket.
"Anything I can do to help the FBI, Agent Mulder, Agent Sully." Mogi's voice said jovially. "A pleasure seeing you, as always."
"Thanks." The woman said with a wave. Kid nodded politely to them as they passed him. They nodded and smiled back, heading down the street, talking quietly between themselves.
"Kaito-kun, I presume?" Mogi grinned at him. "C'mon in, it's cold outside."
"Ah, thanks." Kid did so, scraping his shoes on the mat outside before stepping into the dry house. He glanced around, quickly noting any possible exits, just in case.
"Hakuba-kun has been waiting for you." Mogi motioned for him to follow him down a hallway. "Right this way."
Kid nodded and followed. It wasn't a large flat, but it was obviously home. A few pictures on the wall showed Mogi with various people, some famous, some not. The detective led him into a living room, where Saguru was sitting, his glasses perched on the end of his nose, reading some thick tome or another, very much alive and well.
It was a lovely sight to behold.
"Something to drink?" Mogi asked. "There should be some leftover coffee."
"That would be wonderful." Kid thanked him. Mogi waved it off, wandering down the hall towards the kitchen.
Saguru didn't appear to notice him and Kid might have believed that he was wrapped up in the book if it wasn't for the tense set of the shoulders. Yeah. Saguru wasn't happy with him.
Kid sighed. "I'm sorry." Reined coiled tenseness was somehow worse than shouting. He had known Saguru would be angry with him, but it still hurt to deal with it.
"Do you trust me?" Saguru asked, his voice clipped and very British sounding. He turned a page in his book, not looking up.
"Yes." Kid admitted. "With my life."
Saguru looked up and he remembered just how -gold- Saguru's eyes could look, very much like a raptors as he pinned Kid down with his gaze. "Then bloody well act like it." He snapped.
"I-"
"Mogi-san has some information for us." Saguru rolled over him, turning his gaze back towards the book. "I think you'll find some of it interesting."
Kid nodded, his face a placid mask while Kaito silently screamed and ranted in his head.
They trusted the blond with their lives.
It was Saguru's life they didn't trust Saguru with.
-fin-
Crossovers:
Due South, Early Edition, Extreme Ghostbusters, X-files. All characters belong to their respective owners, used without permission, not for profit.